Today, since getting the new kitten that only I wanted, it has scratched me and peed on my socks, my side of the bed and my laptop. It loves my husband though, who was against getting a cat at all. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned I'm allergic to the 5-month-old kitten we got 3 days ago. It loves me, follows me everywhere and sleeps on my lap in the evenings. FML
Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML
Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML
Today, I gave my wife a cat. The first thing it did when it got out of the box was scratch the shit out of my leg. Next, it ran up to my wife and purred. She said, "Good cat." FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, we got a new kitten, and my older cat is not happy. I just learned that my fiance doesn't interfere when they fight. He says watching my old fat cat chase the kitten is the funniest thing he's seen all month. FML
Today, I was relaxing on the sofa with the cat purring on my lap. My husband blasted an air horn. I'm now covered in cat scratches and piss, from both myself and the cat. I'm going to skin him. FML
Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, my roommate brought a kitten to the apartment. I hate cats, and probably sensing this, the thing clawed me right in the crotch. I of course am not going to say a thing because I happen to be in love with my roommate, but she has no clue how much I hate this thing. FML
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Top comments
zeffra13 31
Maybe you should give it more space? I'm assuming since your SO didn't want it, he's not trying to interact with it as much, and cats are generally a "let me come to you" type bond.
s_ve 7
I don’t get it. We pee on laptops and in the bed and scratch people? Like I’ve said before. Your are a sad human being. I guess I’ll Compare You to Kitty litter...
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Comments (9)
bloopaloop 27
Yeah. That’s how cats (and women) work.
s_ve 7
I don’t get it. We pee on laptops and in the bed and scratch people? Like I’ve said before. Your are a sad human being. I guess I’ll Compare You to Kitty litter...
bloopaloop 27
If peeing on laptops is all you got from that you don’t have much of a sense of humor. Since I have to explain it to you, many great guys go out of there way to nice and generous to women they like only for it to turn the women off, who find themselves attracted to men who are really bad for them and they know it. Has this ever happened to you or someone you know? If you’re too nice to a cat it rejects you and if you’re too nice to a lot of women they reject you. That’s the joke! It’s ok to not like all the comments you read on the internet. It’s THE INTERNET. Insulting people over it is kinda lame. As far as you being sad, remember that it’s a good day for a good day!
s_ve 7
Awe you sound butt hurt lmaooo. And no I don’t find you funny.
RichardPencil 32
You ****** up. The pet you really wanted was a dog.
worldclassrager 41
He’s marking his territory...so what’s the problem?
zeffra13 31
Marking territory is a grown-cat thing, not really a kitten thing. It has to do with hormones, they're territorial when they're old enough to reproduce.
MN_girl21 7
My daughter really wanted a kitten so my MiL got her one. Although he only pees in the litter box he loves my husband and I (mostly me) and we did NOT want a cat. He does not like my daughter. I wish he did like her. My husband and I prefer dogs personally.
zeffra13 31
Maybe you should give it more space? I'm assuming since your SO didn't want it, he's not trying to interact with it as much, and cats are generally a "let me come to you" type bond.
Deanna Koenig 3
cats love anyone who hates them. that's why it likes your husband. keep digging it love though because that's what till turn it sound
Bendegit 4
Cats tend to gravitate towards people that ignore them. Staring at a cat, looking them in the eye, etc, is all seen as threatening to them. So people that love cats tend to watch them constantly, get up in their business, pick them up, etc. If you want the cat to get more attached to you, ignore it. Don't react when its around. Eventually it'll come to trust you and want your attention. Or, it's like a lot of cats are, and it is just an asshole that likes peeing in your stuff.
Blimix 9
Bendegit had it exactly. In addition, staring with wide eyes is particularly aggressive for cats. Instead, practice the "slow blink". The moment you make eye contact with the cat, before it turns its head away submissively, close your eyes for a whole second. When you open your eyes, look slightly away, and keep your eyes partly closed (almost but not quite squinting). Cats do this to signal a nonthreatening and/or submissive attitude. Later, when the cat is comfortable with you, you can maintain eye contact with eyes narrowed, just like humans who are comfortably in love do. Good luck.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
It's the same with my husband and me, except he wanted the cat and I didn't but the cat loves me to death, sometimes annoyingly so.
LozWill_1444 2
Give it a bit of space