Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML
Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML
Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, I got into trouble for sleeping at work. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
supimnyancat 9
Sure you were.
j_cat187 20
Umm yea let me just get my.... Umm hold on a sec...almost done. O wait, my pen is in my shirt pocket. How embarrassing.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (91)
All_Blacks 2
So... you wanna tell us what was really going on.
golong77 0
Pocket pool! O shit I scratched the eight ball!
BloodyDraven 0
if they accused u, u should have pulled it out quickly and looked at em and said "why are you so perverted", that way they would be writing an FML instead of u
Lbkiis 7
I'm always afraid I will get accused of doing so every time I reach into my pocket to get something.
JRokka850 6
Playin pocket pull is frowned upon in the work place
yuyqe 4
Would any male in your workplace complain about it? They'd just enjoy the view.
Testing1234 25
Looks like someone has been watching you ...
singularstar 5
Yeah right !
Whitetommy 8
need a hand?
born_hustla 26
Well damn, what sort of sounds or faces do you make taking things out of your pocket?