Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML
Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML
Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, I got into trouble for sleeping at work. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
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Top comments
supimnyancat 9
Sure you were.
j_cat187 20
Umm yea let me just get my.... Umm hold on a sec...almost done. O wait, my pen is in my shirt pocket. How embarrassing.
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Comments (91)
DuchessAubri 1
Maybe you forgot about getting your pen and decided to pleasure yourself when the work place babe walked by. LOL.
Akumasama187 1
Hey nothing wrong with a little pocket pool at work lol
Stylin_Since_97 10
Taking out a photo to ********** to!!! That is...
alival 12
U sure?
xxlexayxx 0
u didn't make any moaning noises right? that can make ppl think stuff :P
icic6772 0
How long were you taking?
hateevryone 15
I bet you were accused by the perverts that secretly wants to smush you.
ownmycity 4
when in doubt whip it out
ramseydl 0
Of course that what they all say
juliewashere88 1
HAH! I've been accused of the same thing. I was on the radio with a sergeant who could hear a buzzing noise from my end. It took a few flustered moments to explain that it was just a guy standing behind me while using an electric razor. Ah, Iraq. Fun times.