Today, I was accused of masturbating during work. I was actually just getting something out of my pocket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got caught masturbating, twice, by the same person. FML
Today, I went over to talk to my boss. I must have snuck up on her because she was masturbating through her pants. She stopped and I had to chat away, pretending I didn't notice. FML
Today, I caught my coworker masturbating in the bathroom. This was during her shift, while I was mopping the bathroom floors. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boss that masturbating in public is inappropriate. This isn't the first time this has taken place. FML
Today, I got incredibly horny at work. No one was in the office, so I spread out on my yoga mat and started to masturbate. All of the sudden, I heard a forklift outside. I quickly tried to hide, but I think the construction worker caught me. He’ll be working here all month. FML
Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML
Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, I got into trouble for sleeping at work. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
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Top comments
supimnyancat 9
Sure you were.
j_cat187 20
Umm yea let me just get my.... Umm hold on a sec...almost done. O wait, my pen is in my shirt pocket. How embarrassing.
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Comments (91)
BloodyMary666 24
Oh my God, that´s hilarious! xD
solostarr 0
couldnt wait til u got home?
False_Stupidity 42
Am I the only one here that doesn't automatically assume the worst and at least think there's a chance the OP is telling the truth? I'm forever going into my pockets for things like loose change or bits of paper with notes I've scribbled for myself...
Calyx_fml 22
Something = ****.
varkey 7
Whoever accused you of this has a sick mind. The two don't look very alike. This is pretty funny, though. FYL
varkey 7
Whoever accused you has a sick mind. The two don't look very similar. This is pretty funny, though. FYL
structuredchaoz 4
Tugging at work. Lol. Awesome.
skokob 7
Pocket pool!
bubo_fml 11
Today, I was havin' a wank at work when a co-worker asked me for some loose change...I came up short...FML
Fatalist_ 2
You should have told ur boss that you was trying to choke a gnome in ur pocket. Works every time.