Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I tried to save a dying bird I found on the sidewalk. I got a parking ticket for $114 in front of the animal hospital. I later found out the bird died. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I saw a bird almost get run over in the middle of the road, so I stopped the traffic to go rescue it. It was an Adidas slide. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
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Top comments
anorexicbarbie 8
Well at least you tried to help it.
mk58 31
That's how it thanks you. Tsk tsk. This generation of birds are disrespectful.
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Comments (111)
unhappybitch 8
Today, I was trying to suicide by laying in tthe middle of the street. Suddenly an ugly asshole came and picked me up, in revenge I crapped his hand and flew away. FML.
tamoodielovesmar 1
maybe it was lying in the middle of the road looking hurt because it had cramps and wanted to poop
patchesss 7
I hit a bird today right after i washed it fml......wonder if it's the same one and you got my karma ha
aardvarkish 17
Sounds like a Norwegian Blue.
kaykay20 0
That's better then it trying to peak at you while you held it. Still kudos on doing that nice deed. My friend today saved a toad it didn't give much thanks either.
superJohnny 0
wrong move suka
Cenobyte 10
LMAO That's happened to me before too. But I took it to a wild bird rehabilitation center. The lady who worked there, inspected it, weighed it and promptly threw it out of the window and it flew away. I was less than impressed.
gene818 13
Have some pigeons for lunch as revenge. :P
hottottie 0
the vet wouldn't help it stupid..think a little-
Kittehx3 0
at least you're thoughtful :)