Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saved a baby bird from the site I work on. It was the runt and did not have any feathers and was neglected by the mother. I took care of it all day at work and planned on taking it to a wildlife reserve after work. Two minutes away from the reserve, we hit a pothole and I dropped it. It died. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
Today, I tried to save a dying bird I found on the sidewalk. I got a parking ticket for $114 in front of the animal hospital. I later found out the bird died. FML
Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML
Today, I saw a bird almost get run over in the middle of the road, so I stopped the traffic to go rescue it. It was an Adidas slide. FML
Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML
Today, my brother and I found a little bird that couldn't fly. While trying to convince my mom that it couldn't fly so we could keep it, I lightly tossed it in the air and it landed a few feet in front of me. Then my cat grabbed it and ate it. FML
Today, a bird took a dump on my truck as I was driving and the wind pushed it into the keyhole. FML
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Top comments
anorexicbarbie 8
Well at least you tried to help it.
mk58 31
That's how it thanks you. Tsk tsk. This generation of birds are disrespectful.
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Comments (111)
unhappybitch 8
Today, I was trying to suicide by laying in tthe middle of the street. Suddenly an ugly asshole came and picked me up, in revenge I crapped his hand and flew away. FML.
tamoodielovesmar 1
maybe it was lying in the middle of the road looking hurt because it had cramps and wanted to poop
patchesss 7
I hit a bird today right after i washed it fml......wonder if it's the same one and you got my karma ha
aardvarkish 17
Sounds like a Norwegian Blue.
kaykay20 0
That's better then it trying to peak at you while you held it. Still kudos on doing that nice deed. My friend today saved a toad it didn't give much thanks either.
superJohnny 0
wrong move suka
Cenobyte 10
LMAO That's happened to me before too. But I took it to a wild bird rehabilitation center. The lady who worked there, inspected it, weighed it and promptly threw it out of the window and it flew away. I was less than impressed.
gene818 13
Have some pigeons for lunch as revenge. :P
hottottie 0
the vet wouldn't help it stupid..think a little-
Kittehx3 0
at least you're thoughtful :)