Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test, saying, "Well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML
Today, while in the store with my kids, they wanted to buy tampons because I am "getting cranky, and it should be that time of the month." FML
Today, my mom noticed that there weren’t any tampons in the trashcan during my usual time of the month, and promptly grounded me. I’m not pregnant, I just skip periods sometimes. FML
Today, as I was getting my mail, I noticed I'd received a free coupon from a baby supply store, saying, "Congratulations on your pregnancy!" Thinking it was a mistake, I showed my girlfriend, who I live with. All she had to say was, "Surprise!" FML
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML
Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
Today, I decided I was gonna take a pregnancy test after being two months late. I bought two because I was sure it would give me a positive. That same night I got my period. FML
Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML
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Top comments
saywhaaat_01 0
hahaha awesome mom
mritty 2
How is this a problem? You *are* going to use one or the other this month, aren't you? (I mean, unless you're a guy). Were you under the impression your mother doesn't know you have a menstrual cycle? Or do you think that your mom shouldn't be referring to your cycle, because that's something very intimate and private.... and should only be talked about on the Internet with a bunch of strangers?
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Comments (114)
lil_miss_blair 0
your mom is hilarious!
Unnamedsoul 0
agreed. good luck with the modeling, i wuda msged that but the iphone app doesnt let me
chippa 24
This is hilarious! Definitely not an FML.
DerFuhrer33 0
I understand the tampons I guess...but the pregnancy test; that's just creepy. Women are weird. Just don't tell my gf I said that haha
sculp91 0
I agree with antlink 19 your mommy just doesn't wanna deal with the bullshit baby stuff :)
klutzycleo 5
Your mom is AWESOOOOOOOOOOME!!!!!!
Tarvo1 0
Unless you can miraculously change genders, you'll be using one or the other within the month. I fail to see how this is humiliating/devastating.
Bob31_fml 4
this
iltby 3
I'm honestly not understanding why this is an FML.
life_hates_you 0
She's completely right. I see no problem with that! I wish my mother had been concerned with saving me money instead of bleeding me dry with the rent she charged me!
wDeemish 0
hahahahahahhahaha true.
Taipan_fml 0
Your mom miiight have been joking there, Miss Sensitive. Pregnancy tests are good to have around, she didn't mean anything by it.