Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML
Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML
Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
Today, I was teaching my grandma how to use her new tablet. After explaining and setting everything up, I left her alone to check her email. When I came back, she'd somehow "mistakenly" sent an email to our entire family with the subject line "Help! My grandson thinks I'm a dipshit and has kidnapped me!" FML
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Top comments
grajax 24
Superstitions are the dumbest.
pjsr 33
Maybe show her how you can speak sign language with that left hand
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Comments (60)
_Heisenberg__ 15
Use your left hand to slap some sense into that old twat
shemademedoit 20
^ no -.- but anyways I'm left handed too woot woot!
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Stay away from Heisenberg. Clearly, he IS the danger.
iT_Cereal 25
Haha
grajax 24
Superstitions are the dumbest.
LyricaSilvan 30
It's a bit more than a superstition. In older times, many people thought left-handedness was evil and a mark of the devil. It's really more of a religious thing than a superstition.
DoomSkuller 28
very little difference, majority of superstitions were born of religion
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Or vice versa...
4funzies 13
#EndLeftyShaming2k15
Hildy93 21
Just say, "Hey grandma it's 2015 lighten up"
pjsr 33
Maybe show her how you can speak sign language with that left hand
imlovingmylife 8
That's how old people are sometimes! Just gotta treat em like a child and be understanding b/c they don't know any better.
maryic4ever 19
As a leftie I feel your pain
lakid824 10
Keep using your left hand for writing. If that's unladylike then so be it.
leogachi 15
@8 I really don't think she had any plans to switch to writing with her right hand.
beeferjay 34
leftys rule! righties drool
PhinIt2WinIt 24
2,4,6,8 everybody writes, okay! both have good both have bad, if you can, shut up, lad. (I put too much effort to this)
fader48080 10
@40 or not nearly enough.
beeferjay 34
#40 somewhere there is a park missing a bench
zaidthunder1 27
As a fellow leftie, I know what that's like. It's like my left hand is being regulated.