Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending." She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML
Today, it's been one week since my demented grandma babysat my five-year-old daughter while my husband took me to a fancy restaurant. Now she's taken to screaming and calling me a "damn commie" whenever I discipline or say no to her. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my senile grandma, when I told her I had to go because I had an appointment at the clinic. For some reason, she assumed I was talking about an abortion clinic, and started raging at me and calling me a murderer. FML
Today, I decided to be nice and pay a visit to my grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at me whenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML
Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
Today, I was teaching my grandma how to use her new tablet. After explaining and setting everything up, I left her alone to check her email. When I came back, she'd somehow "mistakenly" sent an email to our entire family with the subject line "Help! My grandson thinks I'm a dipshit and has kidnapped me!" FML
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Top comments
grajax 24
Superstitions are the dumbest.
pjsr 33
Maybe show her how you can speak sign language with that left hand
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Comments (60)
fantasyworld 39
Does she think you're a witch for using your left hand too?
Etweens96 25
Mine called me a no class child many years ago. Don't worry OP, we lefties stick together! Both my parents are left handed as well!
FalloutScrolls 25
Everyone is born right handed, but only the best of us overcome it.
strike2867 13
She was born in a different time, being left-handed use to be considered pretty bad in some cultures, give her a break. I'm sure when you tell your grandkids some of the ideas we have today they'll burst out laughing.
FitFriday 32
How dare you write with your left hand!
Mons_fml 27
YDI. Only lawless vandals wright with their left hand.
dragoongirl90 34
How can you be slightly and batshit? Batshit means over the too crazy.
dragoongirl90 34
*over the top
im_not_god 2
I'm a leftie and my grand-mother on my father's side used to beat me whenever I would use my left hand until I was about 6 and my mother found out and stopped having her to babysit. She did eventually stop. Most people aren't stupid or crazy but many beliefs are.
Vlen_fml 20
Lefty persecution only really died out in the late 80's early 90's in general schools (about the same time the principal lost the power to beat your ass too), there are still a lot of people around with that stupid superstition. I even went to a charter school for half of my first grade year (in the mid 90's) and a teacher smacked my hand for writing as a lefty. she learned the hard way that momma's left hook is pretty potent. I switched schools needless to say.
justfml22 13
Way back then it was considered a sin to write with your left hand.
JazNim17 18
Yep. A teacher told my grandfather his left-handedness was proof he had the devil in him when he was little. Gave him nightmares for a little while.