Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML
Today, I was parking my car outside of my apartment, but the big truck next to the spot went over the line. I squeezed in anyway. Later, I discovered the truck had left and someone keyed my car. They left a note saying, "Good parking job, asshole." FML
Today, I hit a parked car and did some damage, so I left a note. My dad called me a moron and, to teach me a life lesson, made me drive back to the car in case the owner hadn’t seen it yet, and remove the note. He actually threatened to smash my PlayStation if I came back without the note. FML
Today, I went to my car to discover a note on the windshield from the city telling me that they had hit my car. On top of that note was a parking ticket, also from the city. FML
Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML
Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML
Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML
Today, the driver's side window of my car was busted, and inside was a note that said, "Sorry, thought this was my car." FML
Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
If you hit a parked car, it's your goddamned fault. I hope the owners take your bank statement, hack into your account, and use your own money to pay for the damage you caused.
Dramori 29
I pity your stupidity.
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Comments (143)
Dramori 29
I pity your stupidity.
kaayalbx 0
Hahahaha wow.. honestly, I don't even know what to say to this fml..
DocBastard 40
Why would you actually admit that you have nothing to say? I'll give you a suggestion - if you have nothing to say, DON'T SAY ANYTHING. Don't feel like you have to reply to #1 just to get your worthless, empty comment near the top. No one is impressed, I promise you.
kaayalbx 0
16 - Nobody ever asked you.
DocBastard 40
You are correct, no one asked me. And no one needed to ask me. The Mighty FML Deity created the comment section so that people can speak their minds. You tried to speak yours and failed like the Titanic, Betamax, and Lehman Brothers. So I spoke mine. Questions?
kaayalbx 0
Oh dang, you win.
Daileyyy 0
probably a woman... they don't know how to drive good.... but everyone knows that.
tjv3 10
hey OP YDI. Oh and guess what you are totally screwed by the way. the minimum you will get is a ticket, but I really hope you get locked up. you are an a$$
Utexas913 3
Leaving the scene of an accident can actually be a felony if it's serious enough.
zakkyzebra 11
XD no one wins against Doc. Why try?
kingnothing607 3
Dude totally deserved it for parking like an ass hole...seriously, take an extra couple seconds to fix your parking because other people have to park and / or drive by...the car may very well have been unavoidable...I would have done the same thing...I just wouldnt have been dumb enough to use my bank statement with my info on it.
twilight8989 0
yea really douche bag
MyDogTastesBad 0
Yeah now that counts as a hit an run... Good luck OP.
iR0ckSkinnys 3
yea #20 to comment on the FML;not other comments!
spanelli 16
96- Then why are you replying to Doc's comment, and not the FML?
ykthechild 0
dude tht was just a flat out WIN...it's crazy how fast he submitted it to it's like he didn't even need to think...I think u must be the FML deity's prophet doc
kingnothing607 3
My mom lives on an awkward one way street, and her house is on the corner of a 90 degree angle...basically the road does a complete 90 turn to the left, and if you keep going straight rather than turn you are in her driveway. Many people park on the street, and you have to park on one side 4 days of the week and the other side of the road the other 3 days. During the few days that people park on the right side of the road...some people park up way too far (still on the street) and it partially blocks the drive way, making getting in and out extremely difficult sometimes...forcing us (myself, my mom, her landlord, etc...) to sometimes maneuver awkwardly to get out of the driveway. Those people should have enough common sense not to park that far up and partially block a driveway like that...they parked like an ass hole. While I have never hit a car going in and out, I have left notes on their car telling them they parked like an ass hole and that people have to get in and out of the driveway they are blocking. So ok, maybe OP could have braked sooner, or payed more attention...but you dont know what the road was like, or how much room there was, or just how badly the ass hole was parked. People who park like ass holes on streets like that deserve to have their cars hit (not saying on purpose). And people who are ass holes...should be told that they are ass holes when they act like one.
kingnothing607 3
Side note...I agree OP was most likely driving too fast and / or probably not paying attention, and for that they deserve to pay for their shitty driving...my point is that you dont know exactly what the road was like, how much room there was or how badly the dude was parked, so it really could have been almost unavoidable...really my biggest point is people shouldnt park like ass holes, it takes seconds to fix how you are parked, and people who park like ass holes deserve to have their cars hit because they are an ass hole. But OP should have taken responsibility if he was truly at fault.
serenader 2
#16 -- yeah, i was going to comment on that too, but now i won't.
DocBastard 40
If you hit a parked car, it's your goddamned fault. I hope the owners take your bank statement, hack into your account, and use your own money to pay for the damage you caused.
Ninjafriends 1
I highly doubt there's much in the account. When you're that stupid and irresponsible it must be hard holding a worthwhile job.
UnderstoodCat 0
Most stupid people are the ones with good jobs nowadays. Difficult times for the smart people out there. You wouldn't know.
locura1991 0
OP is an ass and a retard and it's people like him that make it harder for the rest of us.
020266t 5
what ever happened TO BRAKES MORON, IF IT WAS UNAVOIDABLE, YOU MUST'VE BEEN TEXTING LIKE ALL OTHER MORONS I UNFORTUNATELY AM FORCED TO KNOW.
Doortje 30
You deserve to get mugged - you are an asshole.
glenzhao2 16
well what way does an asshole park?
anorexicbarbie 8
YDI for: 1. Leaving a note in the first place. 2. Not checking the paper you used. Dumbass!
TheCoNofGamer 1
You sir or ma'am fail. YDI
bman134 0
I'm ganna go with op is female on this one
EmmyGrangerDC 0
Sexist much?
Ronnie_loves_you 11
how is he sexist? he said sir and ma'm.
macskapingvin 0
I presume that #15 was replying to the now-moderated comment, which I would hazard a guess said something along the lines of "it was probably a woman because she's a bad driver lololololol"
Me_iz_a_Bboy 0
or that she needs to be in the kitchen
iampunk 0
Lmao Bboy.
omgwork 0
bet u $20 it's a woman who parked the car because women can't drive. they should stick to what they're good for... vaginas,cleaning, cooking, and....Thier sisters vaginas
detolicious 2
you do recoil in fear everytime you hear the door bell, don't you?
Ninjafriends 1
Seeing how the parked car is stationary, I'm pretty sure you could have avoided it by... you know... not crashing into it. Then you proceed with a hit-and-run, leaving a hateful note blaming the other person for your own stupidity. I hope they use your personal information to call the cops and get you arrested, like you deserve.
kingnothing607 3
You dont know what the road was like, how much room where was to get by, maybe it was a parking lot? Point is there are a lot of roads and parking lots and such that are very awkward, much less when you have someone parked like an ass hole.
spanelli 16
Well, a car has brakes for a reason...
Wuhuh 0
FAIL MODE ACTIVATED!
KFCkoolaidWaterm 0
Do you run into trees as well and say it's the tree's fault, because it was planted weird? And then leave notes saying, "nice job growing out oddly, stupid plant" that have your social security number on the back?
RaexRae 1
lol
badintentions 0
Women drivers.... I'm just assuming