Today, a bee flew into my car, I panicked, swerved off the road, and hit a mailbox. It was a metal keg filled with cement buried in the ground. Taking my father's advice, I fled the scene. Later, my mailman knocked on my door holding part of my bumper. He said, "Excuse me, I think you hit my mailbox this morning." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML
Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML
Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML
Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML
Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML
Today, my dad was looking for something in the garage and accidentally knocked over a heavy box, which crushed the new side view mirror I'd bought for my car, because the one my car originally had, he smashed it against a pole while driving my car recently. FML
Today, a bee buzzed towards me, so I screamed and started frantically flailing and thrashing my arms, praying it wouldn't sting me. I threw my full cup of hot coffee in the face of the man next to me, and launched my laptop out of its bag and onto the pavement, where it broke in half. FML
Today, as I was pulling into my driveway, I hit my fence. The same fence that I had repaired last week because I had run into it. FML
Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldn't see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML
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Top comments
DoomJeff91 2
Oh, here's the mail it never fails. It makes me wanna wag my tail. When it comes I wanna wail... JAIL!!!
boardclips 0
your father's a dumbass for giving advice like that. and you're a dumbass for taking it.
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Comments (128)
nommocesnes 3
Your father tells you to do hit and runs? What a bad role model...
coolbrony12 3
I hate bees too but you shouldn't drive with open windows if your scared of insects. Turn on the AC. But YDI for leaving. That's considered a hit-and-run.
meirginsburg18 10
seems like you wont be receiving mail soon
howsthisforaname 34
You have swerved off the road and hit a mail box. Option one: go and and knock on the door, apologise and offer to fix it. Option two: turn an accident into a felony by fleeing the scene. Vote this comment up for option one or down if you would choose option two.
fantasyworld 39
Your dad is an idiot, you NEVER flee the scene.