Today, a bee flew into my car, I panicked, swerved off the road, and hit a mailbox. It was a metal keg filled with cement buried in the ground. Taking my father's advice, I fled the scene. Later, my mailman knocked on my door holding part of my bumper. He said, "Excuse me, I think you hit my mailbox this morning." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML
Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML
Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML
Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML
Today, I woke up feeling great. I opened up the blinds and looked out from my window just in time to see a man ripping my mailbox from the ground and sprinting away with it. FML
Today, my dad was looking for something in the garage and accidentally knocked over a heavy box, which crushed the new side view mirror I'd bought for my car, because the one my car originally had, he smashed it against a pole while driving my car recently. FML
Today, a bee buzzed towards me, so I screamed and started frantically flailing and thrashing my arms, praying it wouldn't sting me. I threw my full cup of hot coffee in the face of the man next to me, and launched my laptop out of its bag and onto the pavement, where it broke in half. FML
Today, as I was pulling into my driveway, I hit my fence. The same fence that I had repaired last week because I had run into it. FML
Today, I hit a parked car which was sticking out in the road and practically unavoidable. I left a note on the windshield saying, "You deserved to get hit - you park like an asshole." Later I realized that the paper I tore to write on was the back of my bank statement, name and address included. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house. It was dark and downpouring so I couldn't see as I was backing out of his driveway. I made it out, but then my phone went off, scaring me, and I accidentally hit the gas pedal, hitting his neighbor's parked car. Turns out he called to warn me to watch out for it. FML
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Top comments
DoomJeff91 2
Oh, here's the mail it never fails. It makes me wanna wag my tail. When it comes I wanna wail... JAIL!!!
boardclips 0
your father's a dumbass for giving advice like that. and you're a dumbass for taking it.
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Comments (128)
DameGreyWulf 1
Once a bee flew in my car. Irritating, it was. When I came to a Stop sign that wasn't busy, I shooed it out. OH IT WAS SO DIFFICULT TO AVOID COMPLETELY SHITFITTING AND-- oh wait no it wasn't. Also, fleeing? Are you serious? Cars have a number of identifying bits on it, not to mention your stuff's in there. OP, you are one dumb ass broad. Also your father is also ******* retarded.
Tigg3r 3
This is why stupid people shouldn't breed.
_THE_MASTER_ 0
um... get your tubes tied, you stupid ****. you definitely shouldn't propagate your bloodline. also, tell your dad to get a vasectomy. also, this is another example of making yourself a stereotype. y'know, cause you're a terrible driver and are also a woman. you disgrace all women and further that stereotype. luckily, I am a man, so my extra appendage gives me an uncanny ability to have some common sense and, oh, i don't know, slow the car down, put it in park, roll down all the windows, open the sunroof(if i have one) and let the bee fly out. then, go about my merry way, without crashing into a mailbox and fleeing the scene leaving a piece of my bumper behind. your dad is a complete retard, and so are you, and you both need to go die in a fire.
_THE_MASTER_ 0
on a completely related note, I hope you get swine flu.
Guitarist45 0
lol!! Mailman win!!
ActionManly 11
I'd bone the chick in this FML.
UsernameHere_ 0
That's because you'd bone ANYTHING with a ****** that would let you. And probably a few things without vaginas too, IF they'd let you. Unfortunately for you, they never will :(
blastvortex 4
If you thought it was bad before, wait until see how much "better" it is now that you face hit-and-run charges as well. BTW, your father is a moron, and you're a fool for listening to him.
foolsangel 4
She didn't TRY to crash. If this is even real, she probably freaked out and wasn't thinking rationally.
Brey1013 0
Once again, a woman driver causes a traffic crash because of a tiny insect. Congratulations on re-enforcing a stereotype.
Danny_Boii 0
"Taking my fathers advice i fled the scene!" Wtf type of advice is that...??
DoomJeff91 2
The best.
Subjectzero 0
you are either a liar, a gigantic pussy, or the biggest coward ever.