Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML
Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML
Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML
Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mds9986 24
I hope your username doesn't depict another event that occurred.
Thomas1605 13
Damn I hope you didn't hurt yourself while jumping out the bed!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (52)
Mathalamus 25
I don't understand the fear of bugs.
Marynfrankie 19
I definitely would of screamed too! No big deal OP!
SixthSinEnvy 39
Is there any other appropriate way to react to a roach in your bed? Yuck.
False_Stupidity 42
I don't know, strike up a conversation, ask mr roach how he's liking it in the house so far and whether the bedsheets need changing.
SixthSinEnvy 39
Silly me. Where are my manners?
olpally 33
I'd do the same thing, **** that! Kill it!!
schreibergx93 19
I voted both on this one. 1. Because I've had a different instance where I screamed similar so I know how it feels. 2. Because we are guys and aren't supposed to scream like that. ??
nataliewby 25
Why shouldn't guys be allowed to scream as such when they're scared?
muhshizzld 12
that's gross.
tranced_ 45
I remember something like this happened with me too but it was my brother who slyly used a napkin to scare the crap out of me..
khalil_kaf 8
all men's are men's until a cockroach fly or crawl your leg
yniguez09 14
Well, who wouldn't scream like a little girl?
techiejames 8
I would have done the same thing. However, I'm still laughing about it