lunarstrain
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
WTF dude?
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Holes
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML
Juiced
Denver, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Excited
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
That's that, then
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Anonymous
Carlisle, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
bunny
United States 🌶️ Spicy
What the…
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
Kyra.45
Troy, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
SadGf
Kinda hot
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Patricia
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Hard to believe
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML
jessica
United States
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Top comments
alexm501 0
Hopefully it wasn't a banana
KennKenn 0
At least it wasn't apple pie.
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Comments (238)
cruza96 5
I know everybody tried to picture this as soon as they read it X)
jobsman99 0
Maybe he was getting that cantaloupe flavor on his penis so you could enjoy the taste.
SilverBelle13 0
Haha what fruit?!
Yankeefan31 0
I thought you said you werent going to tell!!!
dansco 25
So he'd rather screw a pineapple or melon than you? Are you that bad?! Lol
loopsy_fml 14
Who'd want to screw a pineapple? So pointy!
Epikouros 32
You could screw the inside of a pineapple if you removed the core, but the acidic juice would burn your flesh. (No, I didn't try it.)
lilduderox 0
Wow... Thats really sad. You must not please him!
justanotherhuman 21
Dear OP, IMO this is neither an FML or YDI. Either he didn't think you were there, or has a particular thing for a particular fruit. OR he knew you were there, and it was all an elaborate plot. Either way he was trying to get off, and it involved an object that wasn't immediately: a.) religious, b.) a weapon, or c.) a personal artifact from someone who *isn't* you. My point is: so he's a little quirky when it comes to pursuing orgasms; there are plenty of women acquainted with plenty of phallic fruits. No harm done, and the fruit went out in a blaze of glory. What about this incident makes it an FML for *you*?
MsMeiriona 2
Well, just a guess, having to witness it?
justanotherhuman 21
I guess that's fair. I guessed the same thing at first; the post was straightforward and the simplicity implied as much. Then I figured my guess was a bit presumptive based on my own interpretations of the implied meaning in the text itself, regarding what may or may not have made it awkward for OP; they are from a different country/culture than my own. I suppose presuming to guess is what got me thinking, that without further source information I'm really just fabricating my own conclusions. I guess it could be over-thinking the subject, but I guess that's the problem with guessing. Question for OP remains.
Seduisant 7
How did that work out?
tamoodielovesmar 1
LMFAO
loopsy_fml 14
The fruit was jealous of your fruit, so he made them feel better. Or maybe he wants your fruit. But he can't have them, so he is settling for kitchen fruit