Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I was eating lunch in my car. There was a cute guy, also in his car, who kept smiling at me and winking with a cheeky grin. I considered giving him my number but his girlfriend suddenly sat up from having her head in his lap, wiping her mouth. He was getting a blowjob the entire time. FML
Today, I was eating at a Mexican restaurant with my sister. I was happily biting into a burrito, when I saw a man in his car in the restaurant parking lot, staring at us and jacking off. FML
Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML
Today, I was so horny, I decided to meet up secretly with a guy after having dinner with family. We went for a night drive and he parked somewhere to go down on me. The dude was sucking the life out of my clit, almost biting it off. Good thing my mum called and I had a reason to escape the ordeal. FML
Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML
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Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
Maybe he wanted a cockmeat sandwich and this was the next best thing.
flashback.miss 28
hopefully he didn't catch you staring and it wasn't too long a traffic stop.
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Comments (51)
flashback.miss 28
hopefully he didn't catch you staring and it wasn't too long a traffic stop.
dotalover 15
nice eyes
HKCgrimmjow 15
That's be awkward... It's already awkward enough when you catch someone picking their nose while driving
radwanov 14
its okay, he just needed some extra salty mayo :) .. now i'm hungry
Odis12 11
Well, he must've been gifted, because I don't understand how in the hell you'd see that unless you were right in his window.
Gestpacho88 12
*looks over* "you gotta perdy mouth...." *drives off*
Redoxx_fml 22
Maybe he wanted a cockmeat sandwich and this was the next best thing.
chany25 7
give him a wave! then he either has to stop his wank or lose control of the car
radwanov 14
or gaze back as he unloads :P
adamo_erebus 26
I was waiting for this comment. XD
ob81 8
You should have been paying attention to the road op. He is in his car.
breakinlegs 19
So him being in his car makes it okay to pull his dick out?
Kataclysm97 32
I don't understand the appeal some people find in masturbating while driving O_o And I'm sorry you had to witness that, OP.
MasqueradePrince 25
I assume they like the thrill of possibly getting caught, of doing it in public.... -shrugs- people are into different things.
karatekid97 17
He was just multitasking...
whiskeey 14
He should multitask somewhere else, preferably in private!
Zarniclopsindorf 24
Which city is that? Remind me to stay FAR away.
Sports_guy3 28
Calm down; It's in the Netherlands. They (and tourists) need to watch out.
Paradoxxxx 16
What. The. ****
superrocket19 17
It's a good thing it wasn't traffic. ah, multitasking at its finest.
Wizardo 34
Being the Netherlands I'm not surprised these guys are probably out of their damn minds and that sandwich was probably laced with marijuana... the **** too.
SystemofaBlink41 27
**** laced with weed? I can honestly say I would've never come up with that in a lifetime...
Aleys_fml 21
Geez thats a little offensive. I am proud to be born in the Netherlands. There are crazy people I won't deny that, but there are crazy people in every country.
smokecloud_ 37
Hmm.. **** laced with weed.. I feel as though my boyfriend would be less than thrilled if I tried to light his dick and smoke it. But, you have given me the courage to try!! Hey, honey.. c'mere!!
dramaelf 37
What kind of sandwich?
olpally 33
A **** meat sandwich, like from the movie "Harold and kumar escape from Guantanamo bay." Haha duh!
buckdharma 38
Pulled pork? Sloppy Joe? Sausage wrap?
DJisHere11 19
Now we can't forget the jerk seasoning.