Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my mom read my diary. Then she frantically booked me an appointment with a psychiatrist. FML
Today, my dad decided that the best way to alleviate my crippling depression is to talk to me in a baby voice. FML
Today, going to my psychiatrist's appointment for my PTSD and depression, my mother yelled about how useless I am and how I torture her existence with my "abnormalities." She told the doctor how much I've improved and become such a delight at home for her and our family. FML
Therapy circle
Today, I found out that my dad has a therapist. That's cool. What's cooler is that she's a very nice lady, and even said to ME that I could talk too if I wanted to. Boy, do I want to. But if I did, then she would probably need a therapist herself, and the last thing my dad needs is his therapist needing a therapist. FML
Trauma dumping
Today, my father forced me to go to therapy, then dumped out everything I made there into our sink. Apparently, I'm "not a batshit crazy psycho who needed to go to therapy." FML
Today, I finally got to a point where I could ask my mother about how enthusiastically she used to beat me. First sentence out of her mouth was, "It didn't change your behaviour, but it did make me feel better." FML
Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML
Fade out
Today, after my dad and I had a real heart to heart and even settled some differences last night, this morning he was back to his grumpy asshole self. He even asked what he did last night, because he was on the new painkiller his doctor prescribed, and couldn’t remember a thing. FML
Dad of the year
Today, my dad told me that people requiring psychiatric treatment are just weak and pathetic, and what they really need is a kick up the ass and to get a fucking grip. He told me this not 30 seconds after my doctor recommended I spend some time in a facility for my severe depression. FML
Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML
Top comments
hannahtaskey 9
Well, you know what that means....
every1luvsvag 10
Maybe next you should invest in a straight jacket.
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Comments (184)
hotmomma3 0
I don't see the problem
robpressley93 8
1st
Cmliedtke 0
1. Fail 2. noone cares 3. Either way, your comments getting moderated What exactly do you accomplish by being "1st"?
hannahtaskey 9
Well, you know what that means....
dolphincheddar 10
you get along, what's wrong with that? there's a lot of crazy people out there. trust me i know ;) but if you get along I don't see a problem
demolitionloverf 0
yeah, actually that doesnt mean hes mental at all. stragegies like that arent made for mental people, but for people that require more. these exercises would work on anyobe :) be glad you and your dad get along now
Cmliedtke 0
I think he means crazy like looking over his shoulder every 30 seconds because he hears "a voice", not crazy as in "dude.. dude, Im gonna, Im gonna jump, from this table.. to THAT table!" There aren't that many "crazy" people, just a lot. of idiots, I doubt you know that many schizophrenics..
Codezlol 21
24 you'd be surprised.
Cmliedtke 0
no, I wouldn't. unless he works at a mental hospital. Id put money on it that most "crazy" people he knows are either just stupid or pretending to be crazy for attention, Ive seen plenty of both.
DearestPluto 0
24, three people in my family are schizophrenic; my dad, my sister, and my brother. I'd think again about not knowing many...
dolphincheddar 10
41. I said I know that there are lots out there, not that I know them all. :P reading comprehension ftw
Cmliedtke 0
So some people are affected by genetics I see, so are you implying that everyones family has 3 scizophrenics in it? Im sure there are some people who have several "crazy" people close to them, but most people don't know any seriously "crazy" people.
Cmliedtke 0
44, yeah I probably should've double checked that O_o I still stand by that not many people know lots of crazies though =P
dolphincheddar 10
well jack the ripper is in my bloodline if that counts.. I mean he only raped and killed around 60 people and nobody but my family knows his true name. is serial killing and mass rape considered crazy?
Cmliedtke 0
nope, he was probably smoking pot.. lord only knows what that devil's grass is capable of.. O_O
catatonicsleep 17
I thought no one knew who Jack the Ripper was...
ImAHomosexual 0
Guys... NO ONE cares....
bidsababe 1
I was think the same thing :D
fthislyfe 22
59: your grammar sucks... well, give me some of the instructions i should work on my dad too
Cmliedtke 0
56, it would make sense for the family to know, but I doubt hes serious.
Cmliedtke 0
56, it would make sense for the family to know, but I doubt hes serious.
IndiRae 9
63- **** off, they were probably typing fast and didn't realize, I do that a lot. You're the dipshit who can't capitalize when needed.
goshpeople 4
Whoever Dolphincheddar is, their profile clearly states not to take anything they say seriously. So I'll take that to mean Jack the Ripper isn't actually in their bloodline. Makes for a good story, though.
fthislyfe 22
74: at least i don't have grammar mistakes. and i have control on my temper. i think u need some of those treatments for mental patients too!
dolphincheddar 10
83. you never know ;) and thanks for stalking me :P
WallyTheWombat 0
87, you have 3 sentences there and no capital letters. Don't say you don't have grammar mistakes. By the way, "u" isn't a word at all. Ever. So if you're throwing words that don't exist into sentences, then yes, you are making grammar mistakes. I already know my grammar sucks.
ImAHomosexual 0
^Once again, no one gives a single ****.
Jacobt24 19
Fits so well with your picture haha
fthislyfe 22
#102: Shut up! It's called internet slang. I'm surprised how stupid someone (you, "u") can be. And capitalizing letters has nothing to do with grammar. You don't even know what grammar is. It's called punctuation and writing skills (which I'm very skilled at as you see). But grammar is the important thing here. They are changing the grammar! But not capitalizing doesn't harm the language! While bad grammar does. As you see, I'm very good at writing and punctuations. IN YOUR FACE IDIOT!
enonymous 9
Shit if I force fed my parents pills every 4 hours to keep the subdued We would get along just fine... I think this strategy can go well with marriage and first dates roo
deathmetalkill 3
heyyyy 117,,, isss thus the guud gramer?
Pawned71 0
well the attention thing is working for you
dolphincheddar 10
111. I give multiple *****
Mr_mur_der 0
111 I gave three ***** this morning.
TheTweaker 0
#87 Your grammar is much worse then his. #102 Sentences should not be started with the word "so". plis avoid dese gramur mustakes next taym
tweetbaby14 18
117, if your writing and punctuation skills are so great, you'd notice you should have put a comma between face and idiot. so.... IN YOUR FACE, IDIOT! :D
11jackson11 0
117- IN YOUR FACE, IDIOT. You suck ass at punctuation, and grammatically you are a retard. Way to talk yourself up all to get something wrong.
11jackson11 0
Sorry, didn't realize the guy above me said that. :)
asdfghj771 0
well u think that bot everyone does so go **** urself asshole
facilitator 0
c-c-c-combo breaker. Seriously thigh, who
shannonreneee 11
24, it frustrates me when people seem to think they know so much about mental diseases. One: who are you to even call them crazy. Just shows how ignorant you are! Two: People don't just pretend their whole lives to be "crazy" and if they do then they have a legit mental issue.
hannahtaskey 9
I don't see why everyone is arguing about things completely unrelated to this comment. No one cares! Please go away.
ghost303 3
... and not a single **** was given that day
pepper477 6
all these comments, are a little thing I like tk call, TROLLING
SNL 2
hmm maybe I should try this on my dad....
dennis96411 12
Let me fix that last sentence for you. "I should use it on my dad too."
dennis96411 12
87, "At least I don't have any grammar mistakes, and have control of my temper." Guess who just got "out-grammar-Nazi'd".
dennis96411 12
117, practice what you preach. If you are allowed to use slang terms and not capitalize words on the Internet, why can't others?
tatababe 1
I seriously don't know
Tristyxxx 24
You can help your uncle jack off a horse or help your Uncle Jack off a horse.
fyourlife1997 0
second!
shovels 0
This is an FML? You and your dad have never gotten along better!
OasC82 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
oh yeah..one time at band camp....I shouldn't finish the story
genesisnirvana 11
yea you shouldn't
j_cat187 20
they should test the 12 gauge shotgun barrel up the ass on mythbusters. This is what came to mind with the band camp rape
every1luvsvag 10
Maybe next you should invest in a straight jacket.
Juliaa15 6
I find your username a bit odd... ohboners.
Cmliedtke 0
Strait* Sorry, had to =/
MrSassypants 34
Don't mean to freak anyone out but I know how to get out of handcuffs and a strait jacket. O_o
matt0794 1
whats the secret? I only want to know about handcuffs...
dolphincheddar 10
23, the table reference sounds more like on drugs than crazy, but I guess you can be both
dolphincheddar 10
dammit that was for 24.. oh well. yea handcuffs are easy to get out of!
Cmliedtke 0
OMG!! Thats ******* FREAKY!!* *disclaimer; nothing stated above is anyones serious opinion, and is better taken as sarcasm.
Cmliedtke 0
yeah, just trying to draw the line between crazy and stupid (or drugged up).
Cmliedtke 0
28 was to 20, these comments are starting to confuse me.. posted that a while ago ..O_o
matt0794 1
29, I was about to ask what that was supposed to mean haha. and it's not easy when the cops always put them on tight enough to nearly cut off circulation.. /:
chiddy_bang71 0
mrsassypants changed his picture!
mduffy08 8
I saw that on manswers! you have to let alot of slack when they put the strait jacket on you, so you can struggle out of it later...
MrSassypants 34
Yes, yes I did.
bkouch 1
maybe you should shut the fu
bsimp5 0
******* BA
miserypoison 13
Grammar, grammar, grammar. My ability to give a **** about it is immense. My dad's side of the family has schizophrenia and different mental disorders are linked to this disorder, like paranoia.
brown4lifejot 1
Shiiaattt thts sik man i need tht book lol
WillDaBeast83 0
haha that might mean something
EatnBeef 7
*waits for my thumbs down*
goshpeople 4
Yeah, it might mean that the strategies in the book also work on people who don't actually have true developmental/psychological disabilities. Tips on how to deal with sudden outbursts, anger issues, and illogical conclusions, for example, can easily be applied to a lot of people.
aprilita 8
what book was it?? maybe this could help me too! :)
Juliaa15 6
Life's pretty cool like that
CheezyAsturd 0
What's the book called?
calenzelon 6
I might get a copy
Lauren10102 3
I must read this book, the voices in my head and I don't get along well, and I've been questioning their sanity for a while now... I'm just happy that I'm normal.
sematariux 7
i wanna deliver one of these right to your suckhole (shows fist) just because of you picture
wancho 0
**** u **** your self
lovelydarlings 6
At least you're getting along.
daisyloo 7
Exactly what I was gonna say!!