Today, I was at a pie auction. During it, I had to hold a pie in a glass case to be sold. In the middle of the auction, I raised my hand to scratch my face, and dropped the pie and broke the glass. It was worth $1000. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, for the first time in months, a potential employer was willing to give me a job. On my way out of the interview, I tripped over and broke a 1000 dollar glass table. FML
Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML
Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML
Today, I started a new job at a glass shop and my boss asked me to vacuum. I ended up tipping over and shattering the most expensive bong in the shop, which retailed at $3,000. FML
Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck. Someone kneed me in the butt, I fell face first and broke my glasses. FML
Today, I made some burritos when a photo frame fell and smashed over my pan. I'm pretty broke so I thought I got all the glass out of the meat and ate some. I reheated the meat for dinner too and well, I found the glass that time... FML
Today, I spent two hours painstakingly making a berry tart for my best friend. As I was taking it out of the oven, the glass dish slipped from my hands and shattered all over the kitchen floor. Now I have no tart and I owe her housemate a new dish. FML
Today, while at the bakeshop, I got bored waiting in line so I rested on the glass protecting the cupcakes. Turns out there was no glass. I had to pay $50 to cover all the mess and had to walk out of the bakeshop with icing all over my butt. FML
Today, I dropped some glass at my job while putting it on the shelf. A shard bounced off the floor and went up my nose. FML
Today, I knocked over and broke one of two very expensive wine bottles. As I was using the mop to clean it up, the handle knocked over and broke the other. FML
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Top comments
jswizzle_ 6
What even is a pie auction?
WildInTheStreets 5
Lol, how is one pie worth $1,000?
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Comments (164)
jswizzle_ 6
What even is a pie auction?
btstig 11
It's an event where they teach people to talk like Arnold.
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
Why would you put a pie in a $1000 glass case? Lol buy something from the 99 cents store to put it in.
Freeze_fml 17
Try looking up the definition of "pie" and "auction" if it wasn't obvious enough already.
Ran3 0
#5. I Hope you're joking. If not, you are a retard.
Kyzahhh 7
That would wanna be the best god damn pie ever
HeavyScout 0
#5 Did you even read the FML?
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
I like pie
ZombieeeeUnicorn 1
Ohh I assumed the glass case was worth $1000. Silly me.
Freeze_fml 17
No shit.
enonymous 9
The pie saw who was about to win and decided suicide was the more honorable route.
sxe_beast 11
Sometimes auctions held to raise funds for a cause sell extremely ridiculous stuff at even more ridiculous price.
enonymous 9
27 - my parents sold me when I was young to some auction. Haven't seen them since. I heard I went for 3 jars of preserves and a used Kenny Logins LP
CryMoreFMLs 15
You might be my long lost brother enonymous! I found three empty jars of preservatives in my garage the other day! I must kind the kenny Logins now...
enonymous 9
I've heard of kissing cousins but never butt ******* brothers...
murlocholmes 5
It was the remains of the pie Jimbo was masturbating into in American Pie 1
Jovecove 13
Damn, $1000 for pie. :
fakeaccountX 6
Who the **** auctions pie?
CanadianPuckHead 4
YDI for going to a pie auction dumbass
jbong 0
Lovers of pie?? Duhh
PhillyEagles 0
Op I hope you know humans have only 2 hands good to know right.
jagex2121 4
Apparantly OP does
StoryOfTheYear 15
Must've been a pie made of Chuck Norris' shit.
HeavyScout 0
Please, not another Chuck Norris joke...
Zmeilerr 22
Just like your comment is pure shit.
enonymous 9
Chuck Norris would have ran around the world fast enough multiple times causing the earth to rotate backward to turn back time so this would not happen. Oh wait no that was superman
gojira666 7
How do people not like that Chuck Norris comment? I loved it.
dearbarn 0
I loved it too
brown4lifejot 1
You would buy a pie of Chuck Norris's shit for 1,000? Smart.
btstig 11
Should have still eaten the pie.
WildInTheStreets 5
Lol, how is one pie worth $1,000?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
It's filled with crunchy diamond jam, made from scratch.
ariannaimelda 7
You've clearly never enjoyed the bliss a taste of pie can give.
StoryOfTheYear 15
29- Or go to a local Coborns or bakery and pick up a pie for under 15 bucks.
VickLynx 6
I think its the glass that's worth $1000. There's no way a pie could be that expensive.
lovejdbieber 0
diamond based is my guess
crymore007 11
Only in America....
kikibrowm 7
Only in TEXAS.
Mean_Mr_Mustard 9
There is a desert in New York that is $25,000 it's made with edible chocolate and the cup itself is made out of edible chocolate. There is a way for a pie to be worth $1,000. Think of all the edible delicacies from around the world..
Bulzye 2
#103- isn't chocolate already edible?
polkadot3155 6
it never said the pie was actually worth $1000 they could have just put the pie in a fancy case that thy weren't selling...
jizzwold 21
103 meant edible gold too
epdavis 3
lmao edible chocolate
99problemz 0
Lol
hippy_child 0
... So people really haven't heard of a charity auction?
emilymaeve 8
Made with edible chocolate??!!!!
Spacibo100 9
you don't sell glass, but she broke the glass and has to replace it.
ThunderLightTSV 31
Gold leaf out the ass
iAmScrubs 19
My view of a pie auction. "Oooooh yeah, look at that pie. Wow, that's just marvelous. Oh yeah, that's just gorgeous. Just an A+ pie."
slick5880 22
Everybody loves pie!
ArcadePie 10
Especially ArcadePie
Jovecove 13
Hahaha arcadepie lool
minisquid 9
Item number 115849006: A lemon meringue pie. It is contained in a pie dish made of mithril, pulled from the depths of Moria by dwarves, who fought off nameless beasts to retrieve this most precious of all metals. Bidding begins at £25.
Divine_Mamma 11
33 I can't stand pie
sunrise1234 3
You shouldn't of raised your hand...
xlord 27
Captain obvious here to save the day!! Obviously.
organicmtdew 0
You shouldn't HAVE raised your hand.
racheljessie 17
He's not Captian Obvious, he's Captain Hindsight, with perfect 20-20 vision!
minisquid 9
My God, I.. I think you've discovered what went wrong! There'll be a Nobel Prize for you, I'm sure of it!
sunrise1234 3
stop judging. I'm only 14
Divine_Mamma 11
Wow I'm 13 and I'm not as much of an idiot as you
TheJessica10022 6
Atta Be!! But sucks to be you.
btstig 11
Nice pic.
BooGhosted 0
Creepy^, True^ ,
copy125 0
BOOBS
pixelebrate 0
**** or gtfo.
jaint 0
Lmao thats not you in that pic... Who you tryna fool?
jedielf 23
The people at the auction should learn about putting things on tables. :)
Anai08 17
Yeah.....that was kind of your fault.
obamathellama 0
They have PIE auctions? As in the food? You should invite me next time. I'm a pretty high bidder.