Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized I have to choose between being unemployed or putting up with my perverted boss who desperately wants me. I'm a guy and so is he. FML
Today, I realized I get paid to hear my boss complain and talk crap. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML
Today, my boss bragged to a coworker, in front of me, about how much money he saved on a project because he majorly underpays me. My boss is my dad. FML
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
Today, my boss agreed to a 20% pay rise, in exchange for adding a list of new responsibilities to my job description that will effectively double my workload, which he expects to be carried out in the same 8 hour workday, and not on overtime either. My boss is my dad and I hate him. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise, but he told me my position is a legal requirement that produces no profit, unlike every other employee, ergo if I’m feeling ungrateful about my generous wage, he will happily fire me and hire someone else at minimum wage, saving the company money. FML
Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML
Today, my boss, mentor, and gaming buddy, has officially quit. Turns out even he doesn't get paid enough to deal with this bullshit. FML
Today, I realized that I know, all too well, what it feels like to have my over-middle-age boss's boob on my shoulder. FML
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Top comments
FuckAllOurLives 6
welcome to the real world
flockz 20
call ************ jones.
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Comments (197)
thepandawh0re 2
I sure like pandas
rattusrattus 19
His arse raises the dead? This guy either has a career as miracle-butt or fairground attraction, I can't work out which.
batman4eva3113 0
Nice vocab
NeonBluee 8
Get a new job that pays well?
sweetheartxoxo88 7
Go to college and get a good education. It's not always easy, but you can't expect a decent salary without a diploma.
twisted54 1
I make 6 figures without a diploma. Most people in my line of work actually make more than doctors...:)
gribbles 12
Oilfield?
sweetheartxoxo88 7
Yeah, I hear that drug dealers make a bundle, but I'd rather make 50k honestly.
twisted54 1
Yes the oilfield. I actually dropped out of college to work out here and it's great. Pay all that money to make 50 grand a year or make 80 like I did my first year. Now I'm well over 100 and there's some people that's been here a while that make 3-400/year. Way to go young blood! Gettin paid, gettin paid...:)
perdix 31
What the **** kind of job is it that your boss whips you? And what's the number for HR there?
obnoxious3_3_3 1
lmao ya listen to the ugly fat girl down there
itsMatix 0
why work somewhere that you dont like be a man and find somewhere else Man up bitch
Bman54 19
Go watch Horrible Bosses to see what you need to do.
garfield224 0
Nicely phrased