Today, I realized I have to choose between being unemployed or putting up with my perverted boss who desperately wants me. I'm a guy and so is he. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss walked up and smacked my butt. I am a 19 year-old guy. My boss is a 50 year-old woman. I desperately need this job. FML
Today, I'm currently in a relationship, but he acts like a child. My boss has been trying for over a year to get my attention, and I've ignored his advances this whole time, but now I think that I've caught feelings for him. I'm torn between a man child and my boss who makes me submissive. What is wrong with me? FML
Today, my boss sent me to a meeting with a client I've never met to do some damage control and renegotiate his contract. For two hours, he alternated between threatening to sue us, and making vulgar comments about raping me in his office. FML
Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML
Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML
Today, I had to choose between staying with my boyfriend and moving out to a better job. I chose my boyfriend. He promptly left me because I didn't take the job. FML
Today, my boss keeps pointing out similarities between his wife and me. I genuinely dislike her, and have feelings for him. FML
Today, my boss broke off our relationship because he said it's inappropriate. I really liked him, but I accepted it and respected his integrity. A few hours later, I found out he's now dating my colleague. FML
Today, I found out my boss hired literally the only person in this town who is an ex-boyfriend. I also work with my current boyfriend. FML
Today, after having finally summoned the nerve to report a guy at my workplace who has been sexually harassing me for months, I got a phone call from my boss. He said that there was nothing he could do about it, because the guy "wouldn't confess." FML
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Top comments
ohmandapants 17
Don't you have any HR reps? If not, QUIT. If he's making inappropriate advances I'm sure you could press charges. Make sure he's caught in the act!
gabrielbaby 9
Creeper....
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Comments (233)
eddieyes 0
Errrrr, if you are hot, you can work for me... Butttt, I'm a guy too... Oops
alexv4223 0
Creepy
Damn_Hippster 11
Sounds like horrible bosses...
J3R3MYY 14
Time to kill the bosses..
J3R3MYY 14
Oh and time to get a murder consultant, just not Jamie Foxx.
urdirtyolduncle 15
15- horrible bosses part 2 - the homosexual encounter.
btnhdude 0
But Jamie Fox's obvious bad guy act was hilarious.
alito_fml 0
Can I work for you? Any type of "job" would do
spiderman2211 0
Unless you earn like 100,000 a year, QUIT THE JOB. On second thought, maybe he'll pay you more if you give in to his desires.
urdirtyolduncle 15
^ unless OP is a child sex offender, he should quit and find a new job.
Keyman1212 14
I say you try and make more money by being flirty with him! You don't have to put your penis anywhere near him, unless you just really want to...
aliceb2255 0
GAY PEOPLE ! :D
Aim_Low 4
25 Just make sure it looks like an accident
Damn_Hippster 11
It looks like we need...*puts on sunglasses*...Mother-****** Jones!
i_amthe_walrus 0
Was I the only one seeing the third choice, sexual harassment charges? I guess it was just me.... Hmmm............
ColdplaySucks 18
I'd take the advantage and talk yourself into getting a nice raise for your salary.
Gtfo_Troll 0
You should tell him "**** or gtfo".
J3R3MYY 14
Its Mothafucka Jones!
ALpein 0
Well, if you're the pitcher, close your eyes and go for it. If you're the catcher... well, should let him take you out to dinner first.
lobum 12
I'll work for you any day. ;)
beckybecks20 8
You're a guy?
bubble25_fml 5
It's not gay if he has "NO ****" tattooed on his lower back.
c00lguy89 1
He's probably gay.
MeeshaMeeshaPup 8
129- thank you captain obvious, I did not think his boss was gay at all.
a_cassie 4
but it is gay if he has "insert here" with an arrow pointing down on his lower back.
dompa2011 0
You can tell your gay by your picture.
gabrielbaby 9
Creeper....
m0tl3ycru3 0
Restraining order?
MyMilkShake2Yard 0
I see a raise on your pay check and his, well that's not talk about that
Masked00 4
Ssssssssss
SolanumX 6
... BOOM!
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
"Op walks into a bar asks the bartender for 6 shots the bartender asks whats the occasion? Op replies my first ********, bartender says oh really? Here's a 7th on the house then! Op says thanks but I doubt it will get the taste out of my mouth."
markrs 0
120- ha! :) I've never heard that one before. Funny stuff.
ShakeMeDown 12
It's only gay if your balls touch OP.
1123nic 0
Its only gay if you make eye contact!
Horsempeg 25
Uhmm.its called sexual harrasment? He would be fired over you.
pepelittle9 0
;3 you have fun with that!
awagh666 14
Put your ass to some good work dude.
judices 0
^ I see what you did here
judices 0
^ I see what you did there
Jdimp 1
I would say use him to your advantage... buuuut that could turn bad...
ovechkinisbeast 9
Sounds like you and him could have some funky buttsex.
killa_k0d3 1
Butt pirates!!! Gross
ovechkinisbeast 9
It said butt pirates
ovechkinisbeast 9
Jesus Christ! This comment originally said butt pirates. And my original response said what he said
heyimallison 0
I would be so uncomfortable..
IntoTheClouds 42
Who wouldn't be?
heyimallison 0
a gay desperate man.
chuchurocket 4
Not if he's ******* old and ugly
bemylove123 9
Stand your ground, OP!
YouTurtle 5
what does op mean?
nh97103 9
Original poster.
smirnoff1695 0
I suggest trying to find a new job but in these times, who knows when that will happen so I wish you the best of luck.
Artz94_fml 16
You mean best of **** ahaha
2ndSucks 15
Luck, ****. Same difference. Gotta get lucky to get laid.
derekwb 0
I see what you did there^
ohmandapants 17
Don't you have any HR reps? If not, QUIT. If he's making inappropriate advances I'm sure you could press charges. Make sure he's caught in the act!
ovechkinisbeast 9
Insert Herman Cain joke here.
yourlifeisbetter_fml 0
At least he thinks your attractive...
J3R3MYY 14
Start using it to your advantage, see what you can get out of it... other than buttsex!
diceplaya 12
29- No pain, no gain.
xcdog16 0
^ I see what you did there lol
yourlifeisbetter_fml 0
152- No.