Today, I came to terms with the fact that my boss owns my soul for the bare minimum wage, and has me so whipped that he probably will for the rest of eternity, or until his ancient, withered, necromantic ass dies. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized I have to choose between being unemployed or putting up with my perverted boss who desperately wants me. I'm a guy and so is he. FML
Today, I realized I get paid to hear my boss complain and talk crap. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise. I pointed out that due to a technicality, if he hired someone to replace me, he'd have to pay them more anyway. He said he'd gladly pay more for "someone who knows his goddamn place" and made it clear I'll be jobless very soon. FML
Today, my boss bragged to a coworker, in front of me, about how much money he saved on a project because he majorly underpays me. My boss is my dad. FML
Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML
Today, my boss agreed to a 20% pay rise, in exchange for adding a list of new responsibilities to my job description that will effectively double my workload, which he expects to be carried out in the same 8 hour workday, and not on overtime either. My boss is my dad and I hate him. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise, but he told me my position is a legal requirement that produces no profit, unlike every other employee, ergo if I’m feeling ungrateful about my generous wage, he will happily fire me and hire someone else at minimum wage, saving the company money. FML
Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML
Today, my boss, mentor, and gaming buddy, has officially quit. Turns out even he doesn't get paid enough to deal with this bullshit. FML
Today, I realized that I know, all too well, what it feels like to have my over-middle-age boss's boob on my shoulder. FML
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Top comments
FuckAllOurLives 6
welcome to the real world
flockz 20
call ************ jones.
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Comments (197)
Demon666_fml 9
Get the mafia on him
JokerRenegade 10
Your never getting out.
ravenxcorvinus 9
LOL sorry OP, but your FML is awesome :3
doorsfan27 0
Today, I came to terms with the fact that I have a job. FML.
glittercookies 12
If you only get paid min wage, then find another job. You can't get less than what you already have, but you can be happier.
diskdude13 0
Horrible Bosses anyone?
JokerJohn7 0
Worded well.
Mysanitywins 10
Plank!
SpankyMcThrust 6
+1 good sir.
Mabster84 2
Blah blah blah, poor you, sob story blah.... You know, I'm sick of hearing that people are stuck where they are in a job because "there are no jobs out there".... Listen, I found two jobs within arms reach of each other, I have two jobs to support myself in my own place, in school, and any extra curricular activity that I do. I somehow manage to make it... There are jobs all over the place, especially warehouse jobs! Most warehouse jobs are Monday - Friday with full time hours and benefits. There's ALWAYS something available. Stop whining and get out there!!
twisted54 1
I agree with you 100%. I'm tired of these "job snobs" saying there's no work. There's just no work that you're willing to do because you either think you're better than the job or you're lazy. I'll get off my soapbox now...:)
sseberly 11
I agree. Everyone is too lazy. There are soooo many manual labor jobs that no one wants to take
alexthegreat17 0
Dude, this is FML... this site is kept up for the sole purpose of creating a place for people to tell their sob stories. Nice try though.
Dcm210 19
what do u do for work?