Today, I went to get food. I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and all of a sudden it got hard to breathe. I realized it was a blueberry muffin, and I'm deathly allergic to blueberries. I looked at my friend, and she was laughing, saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up hungover and went to the kitchen for some food. I saw what I thought was a blueberry muffin. Halfway through eating it, I realized I couldn’t taste any blueberries, so I tried another one. I then remembered my dad telling me to throw out any old food we had. It was mould. FML
Today, to make a good impression, I brought in homemade blueberry muffins for my newish coworkers. Everyone loved them, up until the guy with a nut allergy had to be rushed to the hospital. Turns out my almond milk wasn’t as "nut-free" as I thought. Welcome to the team! FML
Today, my coworker brought chocolate muffins to work for everyone. This would have been really nice if they hadn't tasted like rotten blueberry muffins spray-painted brown. I reflexively gagged after taking a bite and coughed up a brown mush in front of her. FML
Today, I was eating a mystery flavored candy and I had an allergic reaction. Not only did I have to go to the hospital because my throat swelled up, but I still don't know what I'm allergic to. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML
Today, there was a big cake at the office. I thought it was funny to pretend to push the cute girl in the office into it. She laughed, but then lost her balance and fell forward. Everyone saw. Turns out she’s allergic to coconut, even just the shavings on a cake, and had to go to the hospital. FML
Today, I ended up in the hospital by accidentally eating poisonous berries, from a plant that I've known since childhood to be poisonous, which I also recognized as belonging to the nightshade family. I still don’t understand what made them look tasty. Brain fart of the century, I guess. FML
Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Gwyndion 9
I don't get you said your "friend" did that. Anybody who pulls something like that and almost murders you because he believes you're a liar doesn't deserve to be called a friend.
SelecaoIX 3
You should stab her and then tell her that you heard it would kill her and you wanted to see if it was true.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (306)
aback 5
Your friend is one of those idiots who "don't believe" in allergies. See if she believes in lawsuits, or broken kneecaps, at least.
fatman1970 25
Well said!
FritoLovesYou 0
Your friend is a dumb bitch. You should find out her allergies and kill her with them.
Kenpachi_fml 0
Your friend was making sure. I see no harm in that. ^_^
lif3hou5e 0
Sorry your friend is a stupid ho. But try to look at what you're about to eat before taking a chunk out of it.
TheTragicReturn 0
Holy comma splices! There are three of them in this short FML. FYL.
Twix_a_bell 0
ouch! some friend!
Rldiamond90 0
I say YDI because blueberry muffins are like...the most recognizable muffin there is.
plexico 4
With your condition, why would you put anything with blue splotches on it in your mouth? If the blue splotch ain't a killer blueberry, what the **** is it and why are you inserting into yourself?
gman920 4
I'm allergic to milk and mustard. I know how you feel. I've had cheese, milk, crackers, and many other milk products thrown at me. I've gotten mucho pissed and very close to a hospital visit.
DresdenB17 0
I can't believe how many people agree with this shit. you, and only you, are responsible for what you do. how the **** do you not check to see if you are allergic o the food your are about to eat? ydi fo sho