Today, I woke up hungover and went to the kitchen for some food. I saw what I thought was a blueberry muffin. Halfway through eating it, I realized I couldn’t taste any blueberries, so I tried another one. I then remembered my dad telling me to throw out any old food we had. It was mould. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was halfway through eating a what I though was a delicious sandwich, when I turned it over and saw nasty green mold on the bread. FML
Today, I went to get food. I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and all of a sudden it got hard to breathe. I realized it was a blueberry muffin, and I'm deathly allergic to blueberries. I looked at my friend, and she was laughing, saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML
Today, like many other days, I got up to make breakfast before dawn. Not wanting to waste food, I took apart a chicken that looked fine, cutting away some of the breast for a burrito, only to realize after I ate it and went to throw out the bony bits, it was completely moldy underneath. Penicillin, anyone? FML
Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
Today, my coworker brought chocolate muffins to work for everyone. This would have been really nice if they hadn't tasted like rotten blueberry muffins spray-painted brown. I reflexively gagged after taking a bite and coughed up a brown mush in front of her. FML
Today, my workplace often leaves out "expired" food from the café that our department coincides with, as it is wasteful to throw away perfectly fine cuisine. I soon discovered that the inside of a seemingly normal looking cupcake was actually filled with mold when I took a large mouthful of it. FML
Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML
Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML
Today, I came home tired and hungry from work. I put my feet up and sat down with a big bowl of chips and salsa. I thought I must've been really hungry because my regular no-name salsa tasted way better than usual. I looked down to examine the jar. Looks like I like the taste of mold. FML
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Top comments
Yudith 28
For the next time; cooked blueberries are more purple than blue, they are darker than mold and they are not fuzzy!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
YDI on so many levels. One for getting that drunk, two for not doing what your dad told you to do (as in getting rid of old food), and three for continuing to eat something that obviously didn't taste right.
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
You should have powered through and finished them off. If you believed strongly enough you'd taste blueberries, then you'd taste them. Hey, you're going to be puking soon anyways.
Yudith 28
For the next time; cooked blueberries are more purple than blue, they are darker than mold and they are not fuzzy!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
YDI on so many levels. One for getting that drunk, two for not doing what your dad told you to do (as in getting rid of old food), and three for continuing to eat something that obviously didn't taste right.