Today, my family and I finally moved out of our apartment, and into a more accommodating house. However, as we were leaving, my brother leans over and whispers in my ear, "I've masturbated in every room of that apartment, but it was the best in your room." We've lived there for 3 years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML
Today, my brother and I moved out of an apartment into a new one. We both have ADD. Whatever you now imagine what that went like, yes, it exactly went like that. FML
Today, I just moved in with my friend and had my brother help with the move. Later that night both my brother and my friend wouldn't let me sleep because of how loud the sex was. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I moved into our own house. He proceeded to invite his parents to stay for the week. The same parents we've lived with for the past 5 years. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML
Today, my brother had a party with over 60 people in my basement. It turns out that five different couples had sex under the same comforter. The comforter was mine. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally moved out from his parents' house to his friend's flat. Excited that I wouldn't have to be so silent when we had sex anymore, I went over to spend the night. His bedroom is right next to his friend's 4-year-old daughter's room. FML
Today, I had to clean out my husband's brother's room as he is moving. The room was filled with childish toys, mould and years of dust covered everything. Behind and under every piece of furniture were earwax encrusted cotton swabs, hundreds of them. Oh yeah, he's moving in with us. FML
Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
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Top comments
Notesz_b 13
Well then...that's inappropriate.
Hefri123 19
Shit in his bed?
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Comments (63)
Zlunder 19
He's probably joking, what troll
lukcy_basartd 11
Well that's pretty ****** off. I'd probably lose my mind and throw a cocktail of hornets and firecrackers at him in his sleep. Let the games begin, you owe it to yourself to get him back. Who knows what other shit he's done..think about your toothbrush..food..you oughta buy your own food keep most of your hygienic products under lock n key in your room. Maybe invest in some pepper spray and an air horn shit I dunno but good luck OP?
amileah13 26
Totally inappropriate thing to say, especially to a sibling. Not weirded out at all.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Well just WTF.
kafka13 9
i wonder why the hell anyone would think that OP deserved it?
catanita 18
If you are going to have your own room place a motion activated camera with web access so you can see whoever is in your room. So, you can catch him red handed.
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
****-handed?
Miss_Whipped 43
#28, I expected your comment to say "white-handed."
captainsmegma 12
Make his room in your new place the designated chicken chocking room. Have friends over and make it a real party.
thejonac 21
this is why FML exists
AirBusDriver 23
No, just plain no...
caggybandicoot 34
That's beyond concerning.