Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend and mine's six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same, so I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What did he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML
Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML
Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML
Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML
Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
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Top comments
therob10 1
I'd rather have the head..
hailphire130 0
You know you regret having to buy him that watch. Don't lie.
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Comments (224)
mynameisnoone 2
just suck him its way cheaper
lisaw375 0
that would have been cheaper!
thoughshit 2
you underestimate its power!
SheSays1990 0
How thoughtful! Of him of course lol
MassMurder 0
lmao
Peanut719 4
I'd rather give head
gavo 8
and you could have saved money!
keally1234 0
15- looks like hogwarts to me :p
mike307 11
So give him head!
KBurns207 17
In the words of Dave Chapelle, "Just suck his dick, play with his balls, make him a sandwich, and don't talk so damn much. Couldn't have said it better myself.