Intimacy Why not both?

Why not both?

Alexandra - 20/09/2011 08:25 - Lebanon

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

moneycatious - 19/03/2012 23:50 - United States - Seattle

Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML

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Happy anniversary, Honey!

Anonymous - 05/07/2009 04:57 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend and mine's six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same, so I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What did he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

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juliette - 08/10/2012 05:39 - United States - Tucson

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

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same - 21/11/2015 06:39 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, my boyfriend decided to gift me soap, a razor, and deodorant for my birthday. FML

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nuttedthefout - 28/04/2011 13:16

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

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Congratulations

stdpositivenow - 18/10/2011 14:16 - United States

Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

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Surprise indeed

Anonymous - 18/10/2010 14:24 - Netherlands

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

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boyfriendisatoss - 26/12/2009 07:22 - Australia

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

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Alycat - 08/07/2017 14:29

Today, as it's my birthday, I was hoping for a nice present from my boyfriend. What did he get me? A PornHub account. FML

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Diet_Water - 14/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML

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therob10 1

Tuesday 20 September 2011 15:51

I'd rather have the head..

hailphire130 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 15:53

You know you regret having to buy him that watch. Don't lie.

mynameisnoone 2

Friday 30 September 2011 4:06

just suck him its way cheaper

lisaw375 0

Sunday 2 October 2011 23:06

that would have been cheaper!

thoughshit 2

Monday 3 October 2011 0:47

you underestimate its power!

SheSays1990 0

Wednesday 19 October 2011 13:54

How thoughtful! Of him of course lol

MassMurder 0

Monday 24 October 2011 20:06

lmao

Peanut719 4

Saturday 29 October 2011 7:21

I'd rather give head

gavo 8

Friday 3 August 2012 12:15

and you could have saved money!

keally1234 0

Wednesday 15 August 2012 7:34

15- looks like hogwarts to me :p

mike307 11

Monday 3 December 2012 15:49

So give him head!

KBurns207 17

Thursday 30 May 2013 1:41

In the words of Dave Chapelle, "Just suck his dick, play with his balls, make him a sandwich, and don't talk so damn much. Couldn't have said it better myself.