Today, I came home for lunch. I saw a sandwich on the table with a note saying, "I hope we can have a healthy new relationship, Love, Carissa." I saw another note from my girlfriend next to it saying, "I hope you enjoy your new relationship with Carissa." Carissa is my new step-mother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I opened my lunch in front of my friends at university. I had a note in my lunch from my mother that said "Have a good day sweetie! - Love mom". I wrote that note, and put it in my lunch to impress my friends. FML
Today, I had a very sweet and romantic love note brutally scratched into the door of my brand new car. It was addressed to Cindy. Cindy lives next door. FML
Today, I returned home from my honeymoon and met my dad for coffee. He told me he's been seeing someone and he's so happy. It's my new mother-in-law. They moved in together during my wedding weekend. FML
Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML
Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML
Today, my wife of three years asked me to meet her for lunch at Subway. When I arrived, she was standing in the parking lot. She handed me a footlong sub, said "I got you a turkey sandwich" and followed it up with "And I'm leaving you." FML
Today, I was at lunch with my girlfriend. The waitress came up and asked for her number, then asked if she had a significant other. I laughed as my girlfriend gave the waitress her number. They're going on a date, tonight. FML
Today, I went to a date with a girl I thought liked me. We sat down at a restaurant, ordered some food and started talking. After 30 minutes, she said with a sigh of relief, "THANK GOD! There's my dad. Now I can leave. Bye, thanks for the dinner." The food hadn't even arrived yet. FML
Today, I was hanging with my boyfriend. When his mom came to pick him up, he introduced me. She talked to me politely and I thought we hit it off very well. As I was walking away, I heard her say, "That's your new girlfriend? Honey, you could do so much better." FML
Today, my fiance's divorce was finalized and we went out to dinner to celebrate. I stepped away to use the bathroom, then came back to a note on the table saying, "I'm going to enjoy single life, thanks!" He left me with the bill. FML
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Top comments
JassyJas 2
Just explain unless shes with someone else already
_Mazza_ 0
This sounds like one of those things that you can solve by picking up the phone and doing something about it.
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Comments (122)
FMTOTM 0
apfluxx why are you attempting to cover for this girl? is it because you have/are done the "dame thing" which is to bail for your own indiscretions. You need to write your own FML or "Fapfluxx"
aricTB 0
this confuses me... r u lady gaga? phsyco tranny bitch, sounds about right. but please, on a lighter note, relax. calm down, youbate being very irrational. read over your posts and you will see what I'm talking about.
aricTB 0
you are* forgot the space and my iPhone made it youbate
blastvortex 4
Haha. Your girlfriend's an asshat, OP. If she comes back, dump her. This ain't an FML; it's a wakeup call.
angrygood 0
You can try to explain things to her... FYL but YDI for not telling her about your father getting married. >_>
ImKindaAmazing 0
lmao...cute
Sakke 4
Just tell her..
Cortar 0
Why is everyone freaking out? His girlfriend could have just been wishing him good luck with his new stepmom? Talk about people jumping to conclusions on limited information
Viscount 0
This is instantly my favorite comment in this thread.
TheSpoof 0
This was my first thought after reading it to. :D
saaarrj 0
also what i thought...lol. i was confused for a moment before i realized why the OP thought this was bad xD
cherylface 13
I briefly thought that until I noticed the OP's username.
sparxva 12
Ask your girlfriend why *she* never makes you a sandwich.
CinnaMa 0
I just hope you didn't eat it... if she jumps to conclusions, she also couldve done something to it.!.
Monthar 3
YDI for not telling your girlfriend about your new step-mom as soon as you found out you were getting a new step-mom
Viscount 0
Why does everyone assume the girlfriend had no idea the stepmom existed?
MissOriginal 0
Bitch slap that stupid mom of urs