Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was asked if the reason I didn't like the new male massage therapist was because I was no longer the most muscular person in the spa. I'm a 5'4 woman and I don't work out. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML
Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML
Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML
Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML
Today, I found out that our neighbors told almost everyone on our street that I was mentally handicapped. All this time I wasn't sure why they would speak slowly and loudly at me. Now they won't believe me when I tell them I'm a 4.0 GPA student. FML
Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML
Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML
Today, I finished a very difficult order and brought it to a client's house. He greeted me at the door in his underwear, and thanked me by kissing me. Now his whole neighbourhood probably thinks we're gay, even though I'm straight. FML
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Top comments
sturschaedel 27
If you really were a prostitute it wouldn't be the young, buff and attractive guys seeking your service.
underthesea12 24
Well now you know how to increase your income.
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Comments (67)
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Well at least you're not wasting your time talking to judgmental people.
EJSwank 14
Seems like a rational conclusion... Hahahaha not. People are ridiculous
iPixiee 23
Maybe It's a good idea talking to them? :/
IvyOswin 17
Business must be good if it's a steady clientele. Good on you and don't mind them.
StormGirl142 24
That's extremely unfortunate. My neighbors think we're drug dealers because my husband leaves every night. I guess they just choose to overlook the work uniform. People are idiots, and will believe even the most ridiculous rumors. **** it, and make your money.
NinjaDitto623 14
Our dog yelps every time someone leaves the house and the neighbors have begun to think we're animal abusers.
Jasim 17
Next time you see your neighbor give him a wink and a kiss. ?
jeff_boles 12
Wow that "sucks" Ba dum tss
Bragi 12
Your neighbors are idiots. Buff, young gay men don't generally pay for it.
Whocarez 10
Haha that sucks!
russfml 31
Sometimes ya have to wonder why some neighbours get in people's personal lives and come up with crazy accusations. Also it seems like your neighbourhood is really homophobic which is kind of weird this day in age, well in the part of Canada I'm from it is anyway