Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML
Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML
Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
Today, at my job as a police officer, I had to arrest my own girlfriend for having sex at Walmart. She tried to get me to let her out on the grounds of being "pretty" and dating me. She wants to continue the relationship. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML
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Top comments
rawrkittehpwnage 0
sounds like you got yourself a keeper there.
AlexBuda 0
You have a **** as a girlfriend, time to break up
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Comments (83)
Epickitty58 29
Look on the bright side: she's good to go. Hit that!
Andrei I 9
act like she got the wrong number "nicole? who? i'm sorry my name isn't mark"