Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that my girlfriend is cheating on me when she was arrested for having sex in public. Not with me though. FML
Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML
Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
Today, at my job as a police officer, I had to arrest my own girlfriend for having sex at Walmart. She tried to get me to let her out on the grounds of being "pretty" and dating me. She wants to continue the relationship. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML
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Top comments
rawrkittehpwnage 0
sounds like you got yourself a keeper there.
AlexBuda 0
You have a **** as a girlfriend, time to break up
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Comments (83)
pavloviandoggy 4
I wonder what the nature of the indecent exposure was. There's a difference between flashing your **** to the bartender and getting caught peeing in an alley. Neither of them is very classy, true. But it doesn't necessarily suggest infidelity.
UpsidedownKayak 9
Come on man, what is the skin-ny? Was she drunk off her bare ass, stripped of her inhibitions? I think she nude what she was doing and you have a wild one. Have some good au naturel fun.
skyttlz 32
I see what you did there
rattusrattus 19
She probably wasn't worth exposing anyway. Women who flash tend to be overly made-up with over-straightened hair.
ScrabbleBabe2010 0
Ya that's the future mother of your children. lol
AlexBuda 0
You have a **** as a girlfriend, time to break up
tjsomethin 9
Thank you, Captain Obvious.
AlexBuda 0
your welcome pvt sarcasm
analisa13 0
Are you dating Snooki? Lmfao.
talktomandybaby 8
more like a snooki wanna be
lovexbox 8
A Snooki wannabe? Haha that's even worse!
sallen0046 4
What exactly do the illegal actions of someone you're not even married to have to do with your life? You chose to date her, just as you chose whether or not to go pick her up from jail.
boritom 1
It's only an FML if those she exposed herself to got to see more of her than you ever do. BTW, she's a ****. Dump her overexposed ass!
dansco 25
Loving it #34 ;) So you have an fun lass then, ENJOY!
CaptainJ1000 1
Yeah, but those **** weren't worth looking at...