Today, I discovered that the hearing in my left ear is still good. I haven't been able to hear that well out of it for 2 weeks and I thought I popped an eardrum and waited for it to heal. I stuck a Q-Tip in there to clean it out. Turns out there was actually a dead fly in my ear. For 2 weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying two minutes of my life. FML
Today, something blocked my ear. I couldn't get it out, so I went to Urgent Care so I didn't pop my eardrums. Turns out my allergies made my ears stop draining. After they rinsed my ears, I can now hear almost nothing. FML
Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML
Today, I found out that the doctors accidentally perforated my left ear drum performing a routine wax syringing. I was at the doctor's for a completely different reason, having crushed my pinky at the gym. They can't fix either and my finger needs surgery, which can't happen until next week. FML
Today, my excruciating ear pain turned out to be a bastard maggot eating away at all the vital things behind my eardrum. The doctor pulled it out, but I’m now permanently deaf in that ear and can’t balance. I fall if I try to stand or walk further than 5 feet. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Today, my right ear drum ruptured. My family doesn't understand that I only lost hearing in one ear and continues to talk about me behind my back, thinking I can't hear them. FML
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Top comments
drano 0
How would it have gotten in there without you feeling it? Unless you were sleeping o_O still, gross.
IDoNotHaveAIDS 0
OH SHIT! THAT'S ******* NASTY! THAT POOR FLY GOT COVERED IN EAR WAX.
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Comments (187)
pelica 0
That's why you should clean your ears!!
fml_fiend91 0
YDI, 2 weeks! If you cleaned your ear you would have felt something in there
Moniquake 4
ah :O
IDoNotHaveAIDS 0
OH SHIT! THAT'S ******* NASTY! THAT POOR FLY GOT COVERED IN EAR WAX.
drinkupgorgeous 0
LMFAO your comment and your username are both funny.
OhMaiGosh 0
whooooooohohoha a bit nast-ay.
Kataie 3
Holy **** that's gross. O_O Reminded me of the spider-in-underwear one.
CruelSirDrum 0
bummer. now you know....clean your ears on a daily basis.
NaturallyUnlucky 0
Urgh.
TheAmazing_fml 0
HAVE U HEARD OF PERSONAL HYGIENE?! MAYBE FLYS WUDNT BE IN UR EAR IF IT WUZ CLEAN IN THERE!
crazy_cat_lady24 0
Excuse me, are you a cat? You type like one.
Peacenik 0
The cat comment makes no sense, but is hilarious.
Muse_89 0
LOLcats talk like that... but I'm not sure if this person is making a reference to that, or if she simply likes cats, as her name would suggest.
jesser_fml 0
i'm pretty surprised at the amount of people who have never heard of LOLCATS :C
umbilicalbiotch 0
At least he knows the ear wax is working, animals near my brain deter me from using q-tips.
alexomAnexo 0
#68 I love you lol how does no-one get it?
SammyS2012 21
Actually, it's best not to use Q-tips daily. If you do, you can push wax further into your ear, or just the stick too far and cause damage.
tonia_fml 0
omfg. disgusting. how could you not feel something like that lodged in your ear? YDI & FYL