Today, I discovered that the hearing in my left ear is still good. I haven't been able to hear that well out of it for 2 weeks and I thought I popped an eardrum and waited for it to heal. I stuck a Q-Tip in there to clean it out. Turns out there was actually a dead fly in my ear. For 2 weeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying two minutes of my life. FML
Today, something blocked my ear. I couldn't get it out, so I went to Urgent Care so I didn't pop my eardrums. Turns out my allergies made my ears stop draining. After they rinsed my ears, I can now hear almost nothing. FML
Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML
Today, I found out that the doctors accidentally perforated my left ear drum performing a routine wax syringing. I was at the doctor's for a completely different reason, having crushed my pinky at the gym. They can't fix either and my finger needs surgery, which can't happen until next week. FML
Today, my excruciating ear pain turned out to be a bastard maggot eating away at all the vital things behind my eardrum. The doctor pulled it out, but I’m now permanently deaf in that ear and can’t balance. I fall if I try to stand or walk further than 5 feet. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Today, my right ear drum ruptured. My family doesn't understand that I only lost hearing in one ear and continues to talk about me behind my back, thinking I can't hear them. FML
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Top comments
drano 0
How would it have gotten in there without you feeling it? Unless you were sleeping o_O still, gross.
IDoNotHaveAIDS 0
OH SHIT! THAT'S ******* NASTY! THAT POOR FLY GOT COVERED IN EAR WAX.
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Comments (187)
drano 0
How would it have gotten in there without you feeling it? Unless you were sleeping o_O still, gross.
runescapescool 0
call the fly a noob and spam "halp!!!!"
alexomAnexo 0
Popped eardrums don't heal, it's called going deaf.
Loosechange 0
You do not clean your ears for two weeks. YDI
Tweety122888 0
do u not clean your ears?!?! ew you have do it daily!!!
AssTard 15
Brain food!
isallwaysme 27
156, they DO in fact heal. and OP, having a popped eardrum hurts like a ************. you would know if its popped.
Kamon97 23
Guess who's reading FML before going to sleep now? ._.
tay7 0
You probably should have checked it out before you assumed you popped your eardrum.. YDI
SoSoRachel 7
OP did check it.
g35nyc 0
WTF? It doesn't feel anything when something goes inside your ears? Your pretty stupid IMO.
synacious 0
"Your pretty stupid IMO." Oh, the irony.
polly87 0
lol. WIN.
barlessprison 16
Before you call others stupid, why don't you check your grammar.
SaysBrittany 0
It's "you're".
humorizer 14
HIs grammar is ok. It's his spelling that's a blight to mankind.
Logica42 0
Thank you, humorizer..
amy_shmamy 0
who gives a shit about spelling/grammar? when are people going to get over the your/you're thing? god
Barbarossa_fml 0
When we stop speaking English? O_o
DoctorWombat 0
Since we're being especially picky today, FYI spelling == grammar.
drf610 0
spelling does not equate to grammar. they are separate and equal.
kaykaypopz 0
it doesn't feel anything?? You mean you can't feel anything...
Dbag320 0
Lmao, That sucks. How could you not tell something was in your ear?????
girlygirl666 0
Ewwww that's so gross!
mndz_mkl 0
lol, its ok, i had a nice little BIG piece of folded paper in mine, and i had to go to the emergency room,they got it out, along with ALOT of earwax.
SomeBossOnHere 5
Little and big? Wtf?
iwantagoat579 7
174- Well, the squirrel in your profile picture is both little and big. It's a little squirrel, but it's fat/big. Anyways, 6 was trying to emphasize the piece of paper's size by saying it was both little and big.
FlyestBoy 11
174- there is also little big planet. little piece of paper, big head.
inflagranti 0
that's kinda gross... it could've never happen to me im so scared of things going in my ear eww... except for good music and few other things
Remegy 3
dude, what else could you POSSIBLY put in there?
gambol 10
Bad music, maybe. xD
redbluegreen 41
I don't know about you, but whatever your mum decides to do with my ears is fine with me.
aubz6391 0
hahaha oh snap!
lol_good_one 0
a few other things...you dating a Chinese guy? lol good old stereo types
makeup14 0
what else us there to put in an ear?
ifuckmonsters 5
...ear sex?
bockscar_fml 0
wasn't that hurt if there's something stuck in your ear
Sawadee 0
Why "waited for it to heal"? You should go see a doctor
Tweety122888 0
maybe no medical insurance?
AshleyRose784 0
eww, so gross