Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, my mom and I were escorted out of the KFC because my mom tried to mug and pick a fight with another customer. FML
Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently, my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she's embarrassed of my real brother. FML
Today, my mum came to visit me in the country where I'm studying. We went out, and when she saw a dude eating something she liked the look of, she made me run after him to ask where he bought it. The guy was my ex. FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML
Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
YDI for eating at KFC, and for thinking "your mom" jokes still hold any comedic value.
rosy_fml 0
You could've just ended with "His mom was in town visiting for the weekend". Don't tell us what to do.
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Comments (69)
Suckishgurk 0
Wow, YOU ARE SO WEIRD. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU SUCCCCKKKK YDI FOR LYING.
sorrysweety 0
I gotta say comedic value comes into play with the fact that his mom was actually there. Good timing on that one, and no worries by next weekend you two will be laughing at this.
skitzz 0
haha me and my friends joke about that kind of stuff all the time. this is actually really funny. i dont know why you think its so horrible.
couny343 1
so your friends mom dosent like you now? big deal
whiners 0
"sexy date"+KFC=putz
lovemyfml 0
haha why not a shumck? I think hes a poor shmuck
killurbeer 0
hahahahahaha!
greenrapsody 0
this is SO not an fml! this belongs on IMMD!
Mortanious 0
YDI for being a douche and still use mom jokes like a disrespectful, uneducated prick.
G5guy 0
Why did you feel the need to mention you were eating KFC? it's completely irrelevant.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Why not? Does it hurt you?
letmethinknow 0
why must you hate on the colonel?
alexandraa_fml 0
A little bit of the colonel is in every piece of chicken.
k43L1 0
hahaha at least your lame "your mom" joke was ironic!