Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, my mom and I were escorted out of the KFC because my mom tried to mug and pick a fight with another customer. FML
Today, I was working as a host at a pasta diner. The hostess I was working with was very attractive and we were flirting quite a bit. A large woman walked in to be seated, and I leaned over to her and dared her to ask the woman if she wanted two chairs. She leaned back and said, "That's my mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend was taking me to dinner to meet his parents. As we pulled into the restaurant valet, I saw a woman in a slutty dress and hooker heels get out of the car ahead of us. I jokingly asked if we had accidentally pulled into a strip club, pointing at the woman. It was his mother. FML
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently, my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she's embarrassed of my real brother. FML
Today, my mum came to visit me in the country where I'm studying. We went out, and when she saw a dude eating something she liked the look of, she made me run after him to ask where he bought it. The guy was my ex. FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML
Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
YDI for eating at KFC, and for thinking "your mom" jokes still hold any comedic value.
rosy_fml 0
You could've just ended with "His mom was in town visiting for the weekend". Don't tell us what to do.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (69)
Witchcraft_fml 5
I'm going to have to agree with #52 here. Although, "your mom" jokes are old.
xoluvinshayxo 0
wow...chew it over with a twix(;
britty_bee 0
tool alert everyone hahaha. though that is funnnny as.
LMA0x10 0
lmaoo i cannot stop laughing !
rockinkid77 0
my actual mother makes your mom jokes. and she has walked in when my friends have done things like this and she thinks it's hilarious.
hassenpfeffermmm 0
KFC tortures their chickens. Pam Anderson has a video about it on the net.
pOTATERS_ 0
why does everyone end with a question? guess who/what...?
tchaikovsky93 0
Hahahahahahahhagagagagagagagagaga
seb6969 6
I love eating KFC. And I love eating your mom.
DeuceMcCoy 0
in all reality I think she's the bad guy in this.