Today, I was walking to get ice-cream with my boyfriend. When we were ordering our cone, the girl who was scooping it said to my boyfriend, "Hey I know you! You're the one who slept with my sister-in-law the other night." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's cousin's birthday party, I was hanging around with his sister as I didn't know anyone. She was talking to some friends when one of them asked her, "So, is your brother still going out with that crazy chick?" Her answer was to introduce me. FML
Today, I had a meeting in the town where my ex-girlfriend works. After the meeting, I bought some ice cream and sat on a bench in a public place. She came across with her girlfriends laughing and obviously having fun. She only looked in my direction briefly. I threw the ice cream into the trash. FML
Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML
Today, I ran into my serious boyfriend of two years at a restaurant. He was sitting with another girl. I went over and asked him who she was. He replied, "Who are you?" Apparently I was the secret girlfriend. FML
Today, I was in my local supermarket's frozen aisle and I started doing a little dance of joy because my favorite ice cream was on sale. I turned around to see my ex and his new girlfriend watching me. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's brother. When he saw me, he whispered into my boyfriend's ear, "So, this is your bitch eh? Nice!" FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, I was hanging out with a friend at an ice cream place, and a guy started chatting with us. As he eventually went to leave, he told me, "That's a nice looking date you got there." Then he turned to my friend. "Wish I could say the same to you." FML
Today, it’s my girlfriend’s birthday. I took her out to her favorite restaurant to celebrate. The waitress serving us looked oddly familiar but I didn’t think anything of it until she said when we collected the check, “Aren’t you my sister’s husband?” I forgot she had a younger sister who worked here. FML
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Top comments
gruvychild 17
I hope he was wearing the ice cream by the time you were done!
bthomas0319 2
I'm guessing that was the last time y'all saw each other
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Comments (261)
loovemylife 7
What idiot would say that to him if he's with a girl? She should've kept it to herself and considered everyone's feelings.
beetboxboy 9
I bet its fake, no one would do that
beetboxboy 9
Really^^
ukrage 1
my thoughts exactly
bizarre_ftw 22
Your response: yeah. This is my ex boyfriend *smiles, takes ice-cream, leaves him to pay for it*
ducky42 1
What a dick!!
aaalllliiiii 6
Wat if she was bullshitting or blamed the wrong person
ktateprado 0
^ yeah she might just be a total bitch. But just as funny:D
bwblackw 2
Dump him
nikkinq 7
Break up over ice cream.
a_lenzmeier 11
That sounds like a sticky situation.His heart must be as cold as ice, and your must be melting. Haha no more puns. It's hilarious, unfortunately. Hopefully you waited until HE reacted to do anything. If it's true, well at least you got ice cream. An ice cream will never cheat on you.
Capt_Oblivious 10
And that Boys and Girls, is why ice-cream can be bad for you.
Becca456123 0
You have wonderful taste in men, he's a jerk u dont deserve that !
onthetoilet 3
And I'm sure your a dating master, and all the people you've gone out with are all perfect