Today, I went to the doctor for the constant pain I have when eating savory or sour foods. It turns out I have a stone in my saliva gland, and no joke, the only thing I can do to fix it is eat savory or sour food to make me drool enough to force it out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while enjoying breakfast, my teeth took a chunk out of my cheek. This happens regularly, even when I'm talking. Both my doctor and dentist have no idea why, and I'm in utter agony. FML
Today, the dentist told me I needed to have two of my wisdom teeth on opposite ends of my mouth pulled. I suppose a liquid diet won't be all that bad. FML
Today, I got a one-inch fish bone stuck in my throat. I went to the doctor, who claimed he couldn't see the long white thing embedded next to my tonsil. He charged me $70, and told me to eat some bread. I had to pull it out myself with a pair of tweezers. FML
Today, I have an excruciatingly sore throat due to chronic canker sores around my uvula. Every bite of food I swallow brings tears to my eyes. I had enough of dad calling me a wimp at dinner over it and shoved my food onto his plate. He's now faking allergies to food we've had for years, just to take the piss out of me. FML
Today, I'm in agony. I can't eat or drink anything without being in pain, including water. Doctors don't know what's wrong with me, and can only prescribe me painkillers I can only take 3 times a day. FML
Today, I discovered that just because I got my braces removed does not mean my painful mouth ulcers will stop. I now have them under my tongue. I can't even lick my lips. FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML
Today, after 6 dentist visits, 2 root canals, and $1,500 that I'll likely have to sell vital organs to pay, the agonizing tooth pain I've had for months is unrelenting. Apparently, shrugging and offering to experimentally yank all my bottom teeth is my smurf-shit of a dentist's actual plan. FML
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
Today, I went to the dentist. She had a tool that sucks up saliva, and put it in my mouth. She told me to close my mouth, and I did. Turns out she forgot to turn it on, causing my saliva to go all over my face. I had to sit like that for the rest of the visit. FML
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Top comments
tido26 18
You could also suck on sour candy, or basically anything that makes your mouth water and activates the saliva glands under your tongue (sublingual glands). They could also try to massage the area and attempt to work it out. In this case the stone is likely small otherwise they would have opted to surgically remove it by making an incision or a sialendoscopy which is less invasive.
alvarny 17
like they say... when life gives you lemons... suck it up.
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Comments (19)
alvarny 17
like they say... when life gives you lemons... suck it up.
sasquatchius 3
Is this even possible? I summon you guy with moderate medical knowledge!
Becca Tangredi 1
Yes very possible but not very common. I had to have my whole gland removed when I got one.
tj4234 36
So out of interest, do you have to drink loads of water to stop your mouth drying out?
Jachin357 28
Its possible.
AussieGirl92 0
why not just chew gum? will that work??
tido26 18
You could also suck on sour candy, or basically anything that makes your mouth water and activates the saliva glands under your tongue (sublingual glands). They could also try to massage the area and attempt to work it out. In this case the stone is likely small otherwise they would have opted to surgically remove it by making an incision or a sialendoscopy which is less invasive.
Becca Tangredi 1
I had this! And that's not all they can do. They can surgically remove it and/or your gland (which is what happened to me) or they can break it into a bunch of tiny pieces like with kidney stones. Good luck :)
RichardPencil 32
Umami is so fat... Oh, no, you have to eat flame-grilled steaks until the problem resolves itself. Poor baby!
lindzeybelle 7
So you have to suffer more pain to get RID of your pain? Kinda like a kidney stone. I'm sorry OP! :(
d3rpb0t 10
Damn, that sounds painful. Maybe try putting in as many Mega Warheads as you can fit in your mouth? Certainly would be a sour assault that would kick the gland into high gear.
Wisernow 10
Lemon Drops
Wisernow 10
Lemon Drops