Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML
Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML
Today, I spent a good few minutes watching my wife thrash our son with a pillow because despite all our warnings to him about safe sex, he and his girlfriend are going to be parents in about 6 months, and they’re both 16. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter believes that all women will automatically become pregnant at some point during their lives. At least we don’t have to save for college. FML
Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML
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Top comments
zharks1010 18
Your son is a dumbass
pokemyeyes 23
#facepalm
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Comments (191)
kevinhlee93 7
You failed as a parent. Yes, your son is a moron, but you created that moron.
balba31 13
Its not about sex ed, every guy who jerked of before will know how heigh a penis can ejacuate.
SS 31
This is so true. Nobody ever told me that gravity wouldn't stop a pregnancy, but I'm still aware because of how high it goes. Still didn't prevent me from getting her pregnant three times but that's a different story ;)
Lalala579121 28
Now he's going to be afraid he'll get arrested.
trucker2 33
Did he think doggie, would make for twins and triplets. Lol
alldavedup 15
perhaps he just couldn't see the gravity of the situation
novdestiny 23
Oh dear!
faithful_girl 2
He should stop having sex immediately so that he doesn't reproduce!
False_Stupidity 42
Um, it's a bit late for that now since he HAS reproduced and thus this FML was born.
LastResort318 14
Well...... Atleast now you're a grandmother.
thatfmlguy25 21
The first guy to ever follow Malicious Advice Mallard's advice.
worldclassrager 41
Did his girlfriend agree to this logic?
stinky4291 1
just pull out