Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML
Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML
Today, I spent a good few minutes watching my wife thrash our son with a pillow because despite all our warnings to him about safe sex, he and his girlfriend are going to be parents in about 6 months, and they’re both 16. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter believes that all women will automatically become pregnant at some point during their lives. At least we don’t have to save for college. FML
Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML
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Top comments
zharks1010 18
Your son is a dumbass
pokemyeyes 23
#facepalm
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Comments (191)
outfielder55 17
Did he learn the hard way?
lesabber 18
well, he needs "the talk". i think he missed one or two lessons.
hektek 11
how did this idiot get a girl in the first place? she's got to be dumber than him!
coatl45 11
Wouldn't surprise me if she was. In my sophomore year of high school, there was just one girl who got pregnant (don't be impressed, it was a grade of 21 people), she had a miscarriage, then when we reached senior year, she wanted to be a midwife and a birthing nurse at a hospital. That was her plans for college. One day in Bio 2, the principal came in doing a routine walk around, and she and the school's science teacher had to stop our lesson so she and the other girls in the class could teach this girl how conception works and how birthing is done. The same girl who got pregnant still didn't understand how the process worked two years later. It was a miracle she didn't get pregnant a second time.
SS 31
cool story bro
coatl45 11
Sorry. When I get started, anything and everything comes out of my mouth. As soon as I hit validate, my screen glitched up for god knows what reason and I couldn't remove it. I really have the worst luck with computers at the worst possible times. Damn I sound like an asshole.
hardcorepunk87 18
This is why they need to have a sex ed class.
False_Stupidity 42
No, this is why they need to have an actual proper sex ed class that covers all the facts and consists of more than just "don't do it".
Sora_McKain 36
If you have sex, you will get an STD...and die.
MandieL 27
103, that sounds like a story from The croods. Made me chuckle.
kendalbear 16
A guy told me that you can't get pregnant if you're on top when he had no condom. I kicked him out.
vanaathiel 13
This is why parents need to talk to their kids about sex! Seriously, I blame the OP. Don't rely on the school system to teach them
olillia 16
I don't understand everyone saying that it's somehow the government's fault for kids getting pregnant. I got sex Ed in the fifth grade. Yeah. They teach that in the fifth grade. And even if you didn't pay attention, you know DAMN well where babies come from and what sex leads to. To pretend that you can deflect responsibility for your actions is ridiculous and childish. This isn't the parent's fault. Maybe they did have the sex talk. They probably didn't think to mention "oh yeah and gravity isn't birth control". That's kind of a given...
DoomedGemini 38
Yeah, kids will learn where babies come from and know what to do or what not to do..IF they are taught it. We are saying there's some schools who don't teach anything and rather try to scare them into not doing it or just says not to.
theRonin 18
Well that's an fml for him but, congrats new grand dad. Let's hope the stupid gene doesnt transfer to the new born.
chazzywazzy654 22
You deserve it for not teaching him about safe sex and adequate contraception.
swishy25 14
and you k ow that they didn't teach him and speak to him about sex ed??? you know that for a fact?
phreaker913 21
you didnt tell him already???