Today, my four-year-old daughter believes that all women will automatically become pregnant at some point during their lives. At least we don’t have to save for college. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have four daughters in high school. All four announced they are pregnant. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, my daughter told me that she’s pregnant with twins. It would be an exciting piece of news, except for the fact that she’s a sophomore in high school. FML
Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, my daughter said she would never ever have kids because then she'll bleed through her vagina or get stitches on her stomach. She turned 7 last week and learnt this at school from friends. I'm yet to have the "periods" talk with her. Now I'm scared to start it. FML
Today, my 5 year-old announced she’s “pregnant” and rubbed her tummy. I told her that it was impossible, since you have to be a grownup to get pregnant. She said that her oversized teddy bear made her “pregnant” and began humping him while sing-songing the word “pregnant.” No idea who taught her that. FML
Today, my daughter is engaged to her soon-to-be fifth husband. She's 32 and refuses to believe she's the problem in relationships, and she wants me to pay for this wedding. FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, my child-hating friend who vowed never to have any no matter what, announced that she's pregnant. I've had three IVF cycles, spent $90k in fertility treatments, and still can't conceive. FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
Seems you’re being a little hard on your *FOUR* year old. Kids come up with stuff that makes sense to them (baby comes out of belly button, stuff like that), and guess what? They learn from their parents correcting and teaching them! Maybe you’re intentionally exaggerating to make the FML funny, but I hope to God you have more patience and understanding with your poor kid!
mike3775 39
Your child is 4. Ask your parents how many things you said at 4 and get back to me. Trust me, I have had many 4 yr old kids, and each and everyone has said things like that at that age. This is a FML for your daughter, not you. Poor kid.
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Comments (21)
Marcella1016 32
Seems you’re being a little hard on your *FOUR* year old. Kids come up with stuff that makes sense to them (baby comes out of belly button, stuff like that), and guess what? They learn from their parents correcting and teaching them! Maybe you’re intentionally exaggerating to make the FML funny, but I hope to God you have more patience and understanding with your poor kid!
Ambrily 27
If she was trying to be funny, she failed miserably. I feel bad for the kid, especially if she was being serious.
rainbowdonnareed 18
At 4 my daughter wanted to be an astronaut. she still holds my hand in an elevator and she's 21
alex_jaguara 33
That is just your kid being curious. I remember asking my mother if "my peepee go away when I grow up". My father proved otherwise.
mike3775 39
Your child is 4. Ask your parents how many things you said at 4 and get back to me. Trust me, I have had many 4 yr old kids, and each and everyone has said things like that at that age. This is a FML for your daughter, not you. Poor kid.
aribanks 12
She's FOUR! More like F her life if her parents give up on her so easily.
Tabby Rosas 8
most little kids think you get it from kissing. if you didn't teach her, how else would she know?? guess your 4 year old should magically know all about sex??
Wadlaen 24
Well, at some point she will probably learn, one way or another... And then, you might find the savings useful😉
Danielle Zion Gadsden 15
Please she is four! I thought your skin tone was determined by how much ketchup and mustard you eat at that age. Correct her was age-appropriate information and chill.
mekiswrite 21
She's not entirely wrong; obviously she was born so SOMEONE got pregnant in order for her to exist. You as well.
idragosani 17
Seriously? You expected a 4 year old to correctly know how human reproduction works?
peterblackmer91 12
Holy shit. She's only four. You sound like an awful mother for judging a 4 year old so harshly.