Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML
Today, not only did I find out that my 13 year-old daughter is pregnant, I found out that she did it on purpose "to prove that she’s responsible." FML
Today, I spent a good few minutes watching my wife thrash our son with a pillow because despite all our warnings to him about safe sex, he and his girlfriend are going to be parents in about 6 months, and they’re both 16. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter believes that all women will automatically become pregnant at some point during their lives. At least we don’t have to save for college. FML
Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML
Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML
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Top comments
zharks1010 18
Your son is a dumbass
pokemyeyes 23
#facepalm
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Comments (191)
JHPugh 19
Why wasn't your son educated on the matter? He's 18 for gods sake
smackaroonial 20
Congratulations grandpa (grandma?)!! Hopefully your grandchild doesn't have the same thought process as your son someday.
captainsmegma 12
Sounds like his girlfriend isn't the sharpest tool in the drawer either.
MandieL 27
She may have known and was using his lack of knowledge to try to trap him.
juicy_extasy 25
Kinda sad people like this get to breed freely. Oh wait... They DO suffer consequences. I see this as 'winning' some lessons from this thing called life.
MaltWarrior 32
Am I the only one wondering how both of them could be so stupid? I mean, his girlfriend shares half of the fault as well, as it takes two to tango. It's amazing how both of them just missed that little lesson. I feel sorry for you OP for having to deal with such an idiot as a son.
coatl45 11
And the girls parents aren't blameless either. I was told by my cousin that he overheard his mom tell his sister to always have a condom in case the guy didn't, and to always make sure he wore one no matter what he said. The people on my mom's side of the family were actually very good parents considering their dad's rep in their hometown. Never met the man, but what I heard is not good.
wolf12king 12
Why can't people understand the idea of pulling out?
SecundusSecunda 27
Pulling out is as effective as letting gravity prevent someone from getting pregnant. Given that sperm may be found in "precum", and neither partner can feel it coming out. Condoms would be a safer bet, along with birth control. But the safest bet would be abstinence if we're talking about statistics.
MandieL 27
Didn't you go to Sunday school? Abstinence isn't 100% effective either. :/
UndeadCity9 19
YDI he should have found that out when you gave him the "talk".
Old_Liver 5
We hardly even learnt sex ed in school and even I know that's complete crap. This should be common sense...
Thorzix 23
Oh but it is, common sense is not so common is all.
lesabber 18
thats true.
coatl45 11
Unfortunately.
MonstreBelle 29
Go to the drug store and make your son buy their entire stock of condoms and Plan B. If he complains about the cost, tell him it will seem like pennies compared to the cost of child support. And tell him his dick will fall off if he doesn't go get tested for STDs right away
pleasedie 22
It's a little late for that now.
MonstreBelle 29
It's not like he's never going to have sex again just because his girlfriend got pregnant. One child born out of stupidity is one too many
geyakiran 5
that's cool niggas