Bacon lovers unite

Today, I got hit in the face with a piece of bacon. FML

Oh nose!

Today, I woke up to the smell of cooking bacon. As I walked down my stairs towards my kitchen, I realised that the smell wasn't coming from bacon, but from my kitchen being on fire. FML

Cooking with Anon

Today, after meaning to do so for a while, I began cleaning my oven. I sprayed it with the foam cleaner stuff, closed the oven for the foam to soak in, then forgot about the whole thing. Later, I preheated the oven for a pizza and triggered a smoke alarm, which brought the fire department to my door. No pizza, just shame. FML

The trap

Today, I was cooking bacon while my dog watched me, drooling. I thought this was funny and I teased her a bit. I then slipped in the drool as I was carrying the bacon and she got to enjoy it. FML

Today, my roommate decided to fry some bacon. After finishing, he thought it would be easy to clean up if he just tossed the panful of grease out the second story window. Guess where I was standing at the time? FML

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

Today, I've been robbed. I came home to find my oven door missing. FML

Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML

Hazardous

Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML

Breakfast time!

Today, I decided to make an almighty breakfast of fried eggs and bacon. I couldn't find anything to flip the eggs with so I used a red spatula that my sister handed me. As I was finishing a delicious fry up, my mom came downstairs and asked me why the cat litter scoop was resting in the frying pan. FML