Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new office mate offered to let me smell her deodorant. This was after clipping her nails, before pulling out her needle point project, and while complaining how overworked she is. FML
Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me while I was at work. She did so by telling me she has a yeast infection. FML
Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML
Today, after doing inventory at my job, I was approached by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute. I tried talking to her, but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker. Now she assumes that I'm "special". FML
Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML
Today, I was finally able to get to know a girl at university who I'd been eyeing up for months. We had a nice conversation. We discovered that we live in the same area, and so we talked about that. I told her that the little restaurant under my house was really disgusting. Her parents own it. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant waiting for a table. Some lady walked by, smelling like BO and patchouli oil. I attempted to cover my nose with my sweatshirt, but I thumped a small girl in the process. FML
Today, while sitting in a bar, I offered to buy the drunk chick sitting next to me a drink. She was a lot more inebriated than I thought, because she looked at me with bloodshot eyes and cheerfully responded, "There's a rotten smell in my vagina!" FML
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Top comments
kooochris1995 14
At least your not a dick! Even though now she probably won't leave you alone forever.
datoismyname 22
At least she didn't stick her hand down your pants.
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Comments (192)
Joshawott 21
Guess now you know why she's avoided.
ArsenalFan12 0
Don't eat the chips
kyrosk91 6
I was the weird chick that everyone avoided at work, not bc of those reasons, but bc I was the youngest in the drama crew. At least OP was being kind, although I do have problems with someone taking my food without asking first.
MickGold 8
Dude, what did you do to get all the haters on here?
kyrosk91 6
Corrected grammar in a humorous manner. -shrug-
MickGold 8
Well, haters will hate. It's their problem that they can't handle the truth, even when it's put humorously. Their loss, not yours:)
kyrosk91 6
Thanks ((:
GoW_Chick 15
Plug your nose, hide your chips, and lock your doors, because bitches be crazy!
perdix 31
I think the OP needs to suck up the loss and donate the rest of that bag of chips to Stinky Pussy.
Krirn 21
Was anybody else reminded of the "Bed Intruder" song?
xNephilim 19
Yup. I thought of the song too lol
btnhdude 0
58- I was reminded of Sam B's song in Dead Island.
The_Hitdude 12
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife! XD
silentbutfunny 0
58 whats your pic about?
Krirn 21
Roy Mustang's transmutation circle from the Anime series "Fullmetal Alchemist". I just picked something a little random, didn't want to be going around with the default picture.
silentbutfunny 0
Gotcha. I like anime, but dont care for fma (can totally tell this will be burried) but death note and some other ones are freakin amazing
Krirn 21
I think you don't have to worry about getting buried, after a day nobody really makes it pass the first page of comments, so this small talk we're having is probably gonna go unseen. I used to watch Death Note a few years back on YouTube but I made the mistake of reading the comments and read spoilers so I was pretty much turned away from it.
WCARlover 35
Aww there's gotta be something mentally wrong with her, I don't think anyone could be all there mentally and still act like that...I just want to know how dinner went
koolkat27 13
no shit theres something wrong with her.
1JDub 6
So whats on the menu for your date....a lil fish and chips?
Enslaved 38
Fish and chips and vinegar . . . vinegar pepper, pepper, pepper, salt!
hamusta 13
Hmm... Maybe that's the reason people don't talk to her?
TunechiXXL 0
What you should do is tell her to quit hoggin all the damn dip for your chips and shove your hand in her pants....... Sour cream and onion?
Swiftly 0
Brings a whole new meaning to fish and chips- Edit: Shit 20 beat me to it haha
MrRayBans 8
Words from a nice person: NICE PEOPLE ALWAYS GET SCREWED.
kyrosk91 6
Not always, but a majority of the time, yes.
GoW_Chick 15
Well then why are you complaining if you're always getting screwed? *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*
xytha 6
That doesn't sound very nice to me