Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my new office mate offered to let me smell her deodorant. This was after clipping her nails, before pulling out her needle point project, and while complaining how overworked she is. FML
Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me while I was at work. She did so by telling me she has a yeast infection. FML
Today, I farted in my office, assuming nobody would come in until the smoke cleared. The new girl then came in to introduce herself. She had her hands on her nose the whole time, while we both awkwardly tried to ignore the stank elephant in the room. FML
Today, after doing inventory at my job, I was approached by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute. I tried talking to her, but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker. Now she assumes that I'm "special". FML
Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML
Today, I was finally able to get to know a girl at university who I'd been eyeing up for months. We had a nice conversation. We discovered that we live in the same area, and so we talked about that. I told her that the little restaurant under my house was really disgusting. Her parents own it. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant waiting for a table. Some lady walked by, smelling like BO and patchouli oil. I attempted to cover my nose with my sweatshirt, but I thumped a small girl in the process. FML
Today, while sitting in a bar, I offered to buy the drunk chick sitting next to me a drink. She was a lot more inebriated than I thought, because she looked at me with bloodshot eyes and cheerfully responded, "There's a rotten smell in my vagina!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kooochris1995 14
At least your not a dick! Even though now she probably won't leave you alone forever.
datoismyname 22
At least she didn't stick her hand down your pants.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (192)
Captain_Crankypa 2
Quit your job, change your name and move... you've got a weirdo clinger for the life of your job now. Sorry about your luck, true FML.
crazyblackchick 0
There is only one solution to this problem: fake your own death.
SuddsTv 6
Lock you doors and window close you blids and wait it out. then eat dinner as you would nor mally after she see's nobody lives there, or just go to some random resturaunt to eat instead.
Captain_Crankypa 2
Good idea! Tell here you're homeless, how about dinner at the strip club, on your dime?
burtonbullet 10
Fish for dinner then?
xxCandyKissxx 1
Eww that's disgusting! Haha, but kinda funny ^.^
burtonbullet 10
Just hope it isn't rotten is all.
TrippingOnAcid 29
Well done for trying to be nice :)
rainydayz133 6
Guess that's why no one talks to her. However, it was very nice of you OP to try and have a conversation with her:)
zoecw 14
Is she still obsessed with you?
kateRAWR 4
Thats why u don't befriend the weird chick !!!!! :)
aigroeg 0
Invite her to smell your anus odour
lovebeecharmer 6
She might be autistic or something, tell it to her straight. It's hard but ur making it worse by not letting her know how inappropriate that was.
Dracoboxer357 36
73- Actually, you might be completely on the mark there. There is something close to 200 forms of autism If I remember correctly, not all of which are self-evident. I have a co-worker like that, he doesn't get what's appropriate and when he should use his "social-filters." He also displays a lot of the signs of OCD, but he's a hard worker who knows just about every nut and bolt on the Toyota Camary, which he's obsessed about. :) You need to tell him what not to say sometimes but he's a pretty decent guy, all round. :)