Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend gets a nose bleed every time he orgasms. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
gc327072 31
Tell him to cut that out!
DocBastard 40
Let's cut to the chase - he doesn't sound very sharp. I may be walking a razor-thin line here, but you need to get to the bottom of this immediately. Maybe he just blade a game with you, but it might go deeper than that.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (117)
xXSuperYXx 7
Relevant username.
LordVader789 3
WTF? Lol
swagisforchumps 9
SCAPEL!!!!
KiddNYC1O 22
Nip Tuck fan!
NigerianMedicine 11
Possible conclusions: A: He's a medical student who is rather focused on his studies B: He has a cadaver fetish (hey, it happens)
snakeassault 0
My mind processed this as "my boyfriend spelled out 'scalpel'". I can only imagine how anti-climactic that would be.
scr_sensei 14
S-C-AAA-L-P-EeeEEeEEE-LLLLLL-LL-LL-LLLLLLLLL-LLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!
bobbos100 2
Doctor nurse fetish!! Dress in a nurses uniform and see what happens
boyElroy 6
There's a Dexter reference in there somewhere
bubo_fml 11
'Cause..."it feels so nice, when you cut a slice..."
PiaMiaPerez 1
Scalpels are kinda hot if you think about it.