Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to take my boyfriend to the emergency room to get stitches from cutting his arm during sex. I sat there while he explained to the doctor how it was the best orgasm ever. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend gets a nose bleed every time he orgasms. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML
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Top comments
gc327072 31
Tell him to cut that out!
DocBastard 40
Let's cut to the chase - he doesn't sound very sharp. I may be walking a razor-thin line here, but you need to get to the bottom of this immediately. Maybe he just blade a game with you, but it might go deeper than that.
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Comments (117)
DuRpY 5
If you have to ask why, you won't understand.
CJB3228 17
Scalpel is the name of one of the transformers o_O
harryjoe 2
Probably because your going to need a cesarean
gottawanna 2
Did you "cut" the cheese at the intense moment?
klx125cross 9
HOT!
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Maybe he was thinking of Time For Tea by Emilie Autumn and was singing it in his head, and part of it slipped out. Gotta admit, that song IS pretty orgasmic sometimes.
LadyOpheliac 5
Oh wow, another Plague Rat? 8D Yes, "Time for Tea" is really awesome XD Like the rest of EA's music~
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Damn right I'm a PR- your username ROCKS by the way. Note my profile picture ;) But yeah.. SCALPEL? CHECK.
foreveryoungever 2
50 shades of grey!!
notepie 6
Whoopee there are other things in life to worry about then what somebody says when they orgasim
EyesofStone 27
Like how to spell "******?"
Sharkitaxrscary 12
Just when I thought this couldn't get funnier... I read DocBastard's comment.
PeachesnCream88 0
Probably studying medicine..