Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML
Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML
Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML
Today, I saw a guy at a bar that looked cute. I didn't dare talk to him, though. When I was on my way home, drunkenly singing the entire way, I finally noticed he was walking along behind me. Probably for about 15 minutes. FML
Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
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Top comments
Schizomaniac 24
I predict a large number of comments about Snooki. Commence.
DocBastard 40
If you used any spray tan at all, you used too much.
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Comments (66)
captainburke 5
Ydi never walk up to a guy motioning for you to come over! Not in that situation at least...
patacus 14
ydi. I don't care if youre the prettiest girl in the world. once you get a fake tan, I wouldn't touch you if you were the only girl in the country. just be yourself. not a carrot. or the brownish kinda orange...ish shiny hot dog look. that's no good either. just be you and guys (at least ones that don't fist pump, and are total scum bags) will like you a lot more.
nevereyes 31
Don't why you would even get a spray tan or a tan in general in the first place. They look straight up horrible, i'm sticking to my wondrous pale skin.
XxskyelovexX 13
Yeah be pale with me! woo!
DylansMomma 9
Your comment : To notice it in a dark club is pretty embarassing, OP.
jules542 5
Excuse me miss, your spraytan looks like a cheesy puff.
sarahblayke 10
Maybe that a lesson
wironandine 8
Owned. *****. Good try.
davek 36
You know when you've been Tangoed!
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
You need spray tan when you live in Florida? O_o Besides, most spray tan make people look like Oompa Loompas, why bother?
minidinosaurgoes 9
Dammit ross!