Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, before a big formal banquet, I went tanning because I wanted to look good in my cocktail dress. I got out of the tanning bed only to realize that I had left my socks on. FML
Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML
Today, while running late to my sister's wedding and rushing to get ready, I accidentally grabbed my travel size shaving cream can in place of my body spray, and quickly drew a blue foaming line across my rental tux. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
Today, I decided to get a spray tan. I'm now more orange than the current president of the United States. FML
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML
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Top comments
FFML_314 12
YDI for getting a fake tan. Period.
Marvin_Android 0
Sounds horrific. At least you used a spray instead of natural sunlight, thereby dodging cancer. Unless, of course, that spray tan causes cancer in your species as well. That wouldn't surprise me at all. It would just be par for the course: you dodge one thing just to throw yourself at something worse. Life. Don't talk to me about life.
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Comments (154)
Xavi89 0
first!!
cars819 0
uhmm ewwww
GavinRoskamp 0
Sounds like Snookie. Do you also have a poof?
Dont_Explain 3
Today, I was dancing with a girl who had a hideous fake tan, she begun to get sweaty and it rubbed off on me. She proceeded to hit me in the face when I begun to rub her with my genitals back. FML"
MissErikaHart 0
I think the guy in the white tux deserved it
kriptonite_fml 0
like a g6
happykate120 0
the guy was a shit head for wearing a white tux to homecoming in the first place...
sugarr0babby0 0
13- win. OP, taught you a lesson didn't it?
ShadyFTW1 0
don't worry 71, we think you're stupid too
Thin_Ice_fml 0
Dry Clean? But haha YDI.
biass 0
FHL, it was probly a rental
skittle68 0
YDI. You're supposed to spray tan a day or two before an event and then you can shower, and it won't rub off.
mells105 0
ydi for getting a cheap spray tan
pooponyuou 0
were you guys doing the fist pump?
Melgros 0
Tans are ugly. This is the 21st century.
catlynnpenn 0
I can just see any guys face seeing his white suit turn orange and u become streaky as hell. I bet you looked really pretty after that
Marvin_Android 0
Sounds horrific. At least you used a spray instead of natural sunlight, thereby dodging cancer. Unless, of course, that spray tan causes cancer in your species as well. That wouldn't surprise me at all. It would just be par for the course: you dodge one thing just to throw yourself at something worse. Life. Don't talk to me about life.
iSitt 0
you sound depressed.
Marvin_Android 0
I am very depressed. Was it that obvious? I don't want to spread my misery to others, but I do think people ought to know at least some of what I know. And no, I don't dream, because I do not sleep. I do shut down periodically, but it's not equivalent to a biological organism's state of sleep. Life. Don't talk to me about life.
Stanekus 0
Push the self-destruct button and just end your life then if you're so depressed.
catatonicsleep 17
yay hitchhikers guide to the galaxy
carm3nl1 0
i love this robot.. it cracks me up. lmao.
RedPillSucks 33
Marvin needs to date Eeore. Wait... Do robots care about homosexuality? (robotsexuality)
hedgeclippers 0
I don't know why you bother with these people, apparently an I.Q. is needed to have any sympathy. :/
mimii92_fml 0
natural tans are waay better. it doesn't leave u orange:P
FFML_314 12
YDI for getting a fake tan. Period.
Alesana_Love 0
YDI for being fake
julz10 0
karma for getting a fake tan. accept the colour of your skin.
sorcerersinger 0
didn't work for the blacks or mexicans.
timma90 4
They have less chance of getting skin cancer. FACT.
analyzewithin 0
Ok, DWIGHT!!! Bwahahahahahhahahahahaha xD
timma90 4
If that was an office reference then gently ninja yourself away, if you resembled yourself to an inexperienced airpilot you'd already of crashed and burned, tit.
SirWhatsHisFace 0
YDI for wanting to be one of the orange people.
tinooh 0
orange...Meaning Polynesian or other
iamthelaw 1
who are you snooki? a spray tan give me a break.
Jessi2487 0
oompa loompa dupity doo... oompa loompa dipity dee.... and i dont kno the rest of the song =(
LilToosh 0
haha its Oompa Loompa doompadee doo, I've got another puzzle for you, Oompa Loompa doompadee dee, If you are wise you will listen to me, Who do you blame when your kid is a brat,Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat? Blaming the kids is a lion of shame, You know exactly who's to blame: THE UGLY ORANGE SPRAY TANNER! :)
Jessi2487 0
lmao! thts a good one. i remember the song now :) what do u get wen u guzzle down sweets? eating as much as an elephant eats... then something else after that. lol