Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML
Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML
Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML
Today, I saw a guy at a bar that looked cute. I didn't dare talk to him, though. When I was on my way home, drunkenly singing the entire way, I finally noticed he was walking along behind me. Probably for about 15 minutes. FML
Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
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Top comments
Schizomaniac 24
I predict a large number of comments about Snooki. Commence.
DocBastard 40
If you used any spray tan at all, you used too much.
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Comments (66)
Nymphetamatrix 19
Anyone else noticed that OP lives in Florida? It would've been easier if she could've just gone to the beach, it's blazing hot!
manshack 8
Next time try getting one that's not abnormally darker than your skin tone and it won't look so obvious. Either that or you just need to go to an actual tanning salon and get one that won't make you all streaky and freakish looking. Always works for me! :)
doodlecloud 27
Assuming you're the front girl in your profile picture, I will not be taking any of your advice. We clearly have very different ideas of what 'works for you'.
manshack 8
108- I'm actually the one in the back next to the blonde, but thanks for being a complete ******** anyways!
klx125cross 9
Who TF uses spray tan?
angelitared 27
You should of told him your on the liver transplant list, and you were dying soon just wanted to go out before you did, then he may have felt bad for you!!!
waitwhatsgoingon 18
...no. Don't ever say that... just... no
caitiebug1119 15
And drinking would help her destroying liver how?!
bryan788 29
Are you a Georide?
chinagirl3343 8
Wow he was rude.
absolutelyrooted 5
Pretty sure he said that on purpose.
XxskyelovexX 13
Every time I watch Jersey Shore (if i do its forced or because nothing else is on) I feel as if I'm the only person from Jersey who doesn't mind being pale... Screw spray tans, tanning in general, and those weird lotions that make you gradually get tanner. I'm fine just the way I am :)
waitwhatsgoingon 18
Praise you, daughter of the gods.
nevereyes 31
And pale skin looks better anyways!
loyeah 10
maybe he thought it was a good pickup line?
ravenh1979 13
Poor thing.. How rude!