Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML
Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML
Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for homecoming. While I was dancing, I got really sweaty and the spray tan rubbed off on the guy's white tux. FML
Today, I saw a guy at a bar that looked cute. I didn't dare talk to him, though. When I was on my way home, drunkenly singing the entire way, I finally noticed he was walking along behind me. Probably for about 15 minutes. FML
Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
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Top comments
Schizomaniac 24
I predict a large number of comments about Snooki. Commence.
DocBastard 40
If you used any spray tan at all, you used too much.
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Comments (66)
dumboears 8
Why not just tell him you overdid the spray tan and then laugh it off?
SlayerElite 1
then she couldn't post this FML. Its like when you watch a movie and your like " just shoot the mother ******!" but then if he did the movie would be over and nothing else would happen.
NicollieOlliO 0
Just go with it and laugh it off
Bonzer 2
If you want a tan, go to the beach. P.S. I don't want a million "she could get sun cancer" comments. Its annoying.
P1P_BOY 6
she could get suu... must resist the urge.
amandajlucas2015 2
It's not sun cancer it's skin cancer
bondgirl69 5
Exactly dumbass "skin cancer" get it right
Tink61636 1
She has a higher chance of getting cancer from spray tan actually....
JOcoco 14
64 - How? If that's true then my health teacher lied to me. Why Mrs. May?! Why did you lie!
hopsinlove17 26
64- once again, it's beet juice.
TheMathMajor 26
Why can't people just be happy with their natural skin? Spray tans (usually) look bad and tanning is dangerous, so what's the point of doing either?
Bullpine 11
You should try one of those self-tanning lotions that gradually color your skin instead of spray tan.
XxskyelovexX 13
That makes you streak and look different colors. My friend used it
lidget 5
It just depends on the kind you use. It shouldn't do that if it's a gradual self-tanner, as opposed to an instant bronzing lotion. You hopefully wouldn't repeatedly screw up and streak the same spot every time you use it, so it would just blend into nothing :)
XxskyelovexX 13
If you don't apply it exactly evenly you can end up very streaky
charvisioku 22
127: Kind of like human bacon? Mmm bacon-ladies.
loserboii 11
You overdid spray tan? Is your name Snooki?
perdix 31
Move to China. You'll fit right in.
Welshite 40
I count that comment as crossing the line.
xXHollowIchigoXx 17
What is a snooki?
MrElephant 5
(insert snooki comment here)
Dogbite1313 5
I figure it was an at home cheap spray tan. All the professional ones I've seen and had where a good color and never streak. You get what you pay for.
Glassmaster 0
I'm almost certain he was being sarcastic anyway.
Minna_fml 14
Just almost certain...?