Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend. He claimed that it's because he's an agent fighting the Mafia, and he doesn't want to put my life at risk through reprisal attacks. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML
Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me after his wife found out about us. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, right after I turned down an amazing job opportunity in another location, just so I could be with him. FML
Today, after I helped get my boyfriend get a new job, he thanked me by dumping me for some whore who works there. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me during what was supposed to be a romantic getaway at a remote log cabin. FML
Today, I was dumped at the surprise party I threw for my boyfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
Today, I am pregnant, and my boyfriend dumped me, saying that he didn't want to be stuck in anything too serious. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
deadxwedding84 5
Then tell him you're a member of the KGB and shoot him.
stephan18 23
Maybe this is true and you not believing him was part of his plan, it worked so well that you don't actually believe him and wrote an FML about it!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (162)
highway_unicorn7 5
Does he even own a fedora?
realeah 4
Fedoras are sketchy. After watching The Adjustment Bureau I think every guy wearing a fedora is out to change my fate...
highway_unicorn7 5
Oh well people in the mafia wear fedoras....
zandalee 20
Either way, if he is lying to you or not, you are obviously better off without him!
klx125cross 9
Eh what if that's the truth?
pokefan813 16
Op would've probably be dead a long time ago...
theartists 5
You're too good for him anyways.
KingCeltic77 18
Are you talking about "Legs" Fonzi? Because if yous are, I promise you, hes-a tellin' the truth.
spacemanspiff78 7
He's obviously looking out for your well being. Sounds like a keeper!
saintsrocksocks 10
If he's a keeper, why are they breaking up?
Dixbfloppin 11
You're trying too hard at sarcasm. Please, go no further and turn back.
misspulkadot24 17
Just about how stupid did he think you were?
Ozuru 11
At least he's nice enough to inform you of this. If my man was an agent fighting the Mafia, I would like to know.
ihotaniston 5
Maybe he is.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Hey, it seems like you were better off without him then.