Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML
Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML
Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and said he'd been fired from his minimum wage cashier job. He added that since I make enough to cover the bills, he wants to take a break from "working and shit." I stared at him, mouth agape, and he thought I was offering him a blowjob. FML
Today, grateful that my husband has been helping out more around the house, I figured he’d hired someone since he hates cleaning. What I wasn’t expecting was that he hired some chick in skimpy/kinky underwear that he found on Craigslist. Apparently the “lingerie cleaning service” is a thing. FML
Today, I came to found out that every time my husband told me that he was on "a work trip", he was actually cheating on me with some other bitch. FML
Today, I found out my happily married father has been hiring escorts on-line for 3 years. FML
Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me explaining that he is getting married this weekend to a woman he met on Craigslist. Why? Because I won't marry him, and he'll make an extra thousand dollars per month having a wife since he is in the army. FML
Today, I actually said the words "yes, a blowjob from a guy is still cheating" to my husband. I never thought that would be a problem. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ford_chick_22 12
My question is why were you looking in that part of craigslist?
Mightytall 35
Don't be judging too fast. Maybe someone is playing a really nasty prank on him.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (120)
simmybaby_ 13
I think your man is swinging for the other team. Sorry OP.
karcummings 19
well if they're married he likes a bit of both sides.
vinylzelda 17
more like catching.
Jowisee 29
Are you sure OP isn't a guy too? This could just be a simple case of cheating. Still sucks for OP though.
LeashaJoy5595 28
My biggest question is OP's gender, if OP is female, this fml just got a million times worse!
GhostFox 34
I will never understand why people act like someone cheating with a member of the same sex is somehow worse. The act doesn't become more trust breaking because you're a different gender than the person they went behind your back with is. It also attempts to completely invalidate the possibility that the SO is bisexual to begin with, and acts like it would be less of a problem if they were having sex with someone the same gender as you. The ISSUE would be that the OP's husband is cheating, not that he's doing it with guys. The "working from away from home" combined with the other part also implies the husband is doing it as sex work, which has legal issues tied up in it unless where he's working from has legal sex work.
bonermonkey 31
it doesn't necessarily mean he is doing sex work at all. it means he has had to go out of town with work and it'd be nice to hook up with someone while he is there
randomcritic 14
Don't pretend that bisexuals don't exist.
JustinJK 21
It could be hard for OP'S husband. I'm not excusing his cheating because that's never right. But if he's a closeted gay man, then the OP really needs to sit him down and talk to him. There's no reason for the marriage to continue, but it doesn't need to end nasty. Depending on age, location, his family, etc. maybe he felt like he needed to have a "beard". It can be really scary. One of my friends went through this with their parents. Their mother was very upset at first, but in the end they had a smooth divorce with no fighting. They're still really good friends and the family is always together. They still go on vacation together and always spend holidays together. It just took them a while to get to a good place.
chosha_fml 27
#46 It only makes it worse in the sense that it opens the possibility the the cheater is a closeted gay and this is not just cheating, but also a marriage that was a lie from the start. That would be more hurtful for OP. if the husband is bi, I agree it's just a story of cheating.
bhopejohnston 16
You shouldn't have been in that section of Craigslist to begin with. Or maybe I'm just a loyalty freak..
iAlissa 34
... Neither should he. Im guilty of browsing the personal ads, they're often hilarious.
MrConcise 35
That's not nice. Some people really put themselves out there to find somebody specia--pffft, who am I kidding.
bonermonkey 31
but the Craigslist personals are loads of fun?! :o I know the line of what's OK and what isn't is different for all relationships but I don't have an issue with looking at the ads
schreibergx93 19
Yes they are. Not to mention the ones that are completely fake. If you need a good laugh, go to Craigslist.
LetsNotForget 22
Well at least it's better than him wanting a *******, right?
iAlissa 34
No
mergeterge 24
I'm just curious as to how you know it's him... People don't usually give much info and try to keep questionable things like that fairly anonymous!
JustinJK 21
I've seen ads with just dicks or bod pics. I've also seen ads with full photos.
mds9986 24
It amazes me people who are still questioning their sexuality go ahead and get married.
Jowisee 29
OP may be male too, it isn't specified.
bonermonkey 31
it amazes me how people assume they are confused much easier than assuming they are just orientated a way other than gay or straight :o
Pinkiss_fml 21
Time to get a strap-on?
adam040802 6
WTF!? that's it WTF
Seabass_Chan 33
You deserve it for having anything to do with Craigslist. On the other hand, your life really sucks if you found it in a history folder or something.
Hoochius 1
Well, that sucks .
ECraine 23
Reply to the ad and go meet up with him. Imagine the look on his face when you arrive!