Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML
Today, I finally came to terms with the fact that my girlfriend considers me a glorified ATM. FML
Today, my best friend confessed to me that she's a lesbian. She quickly added, "Oh, don't worry, I don't like you. You're not attractive." FML
Today, my girlfriend, who I've loved and dated for over a year, confessed that she's actually straight as an arrow. All this time, she's basically been using me as an accessory to enhance her "social status" and make her guy friends horny. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML
Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML
Today, my girlfriend's best friend started coming on to me. I was appalled, and told her she was a terrible friend. My girlfriend jumped out of nowhere and started crying. Apparently, her kink is watching her best friend and boyfriend fuck, and she's now mad I didn't go for it. What the fuck? FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years confessed that at first, she'd only dated me to get her friend jealous, and that even now, she "only kind of liked" me. I bought a ring only a few days ago, and was planning on proposing to her. FML
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Top comments
harrypotter955 19
1800-choke DAT hoe
The_Big_Boss 20
She enjoys the sex.. So you've got that going for you, which is nice
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Comments (89)
harrypotter955 19
1800-choke DAT hoe
friedpwnadge 25
Tell her that all she is to you is a piece of meat with emotions. It's sure to smooth out the breakup.
gracehi 33
#9, That would only hurt if she cared about OP, which apparently she doesn't. OP would be more hurtful to her by saying she's ugly and lousy in bed, because clearly such shallow matters are the only things she cares about.
zBLAKEz 23
OP could say that the only way he gets off in bed is by thinking about her sister/BFF/mother or somebody else along those lines.
StillUsesMyspace 22
Or he could burn everything she owns with a can of gas and a lighter!!!!!! (insert evil laugh of your choice here)
xxDemonAngelxx 14
"LeedleLeedleLeedle"
Dramori 29
Tell her she's an overly-complicated life support system for a ****** you like to occasionally use.
thesimp 6
Na OP should wear a clown costume, honk a giant horn and give her a fortune cookie break up note
FLIPmcCOOL 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You should be happy that you're considered a *****,
silvercamaro 22
Correction: OP should be happy that he has a good friend
sweetnsourrr 11
Im just wondering why his girlfriend, hopefully now his ex, would admit to his best friend that? She is the biggest idiot if she thought he/she wouldn't tell him. *face palm*
SpamPam 18
Yeah makes me suspicious of his best friend
The_Big_Boss 20
She enjoys the sex.. So you've got that going for you, which is nice
ChristianH39 30
That's assuming she thinks he's a good *****
kuzzy00 22
Ok nobody is saying it. OP is a needy little bitch. That's what she means by "all the emotions" !!
Demig0d6 14
She's probably assuming that ops head is the tip
rahulcool7 14
Honestly the way he is being used has more pros than cons
ShadeOfFML 2
Looks like she has her priorities straight
LegalLoitering 12
That was sarcasm; a joke. She doesn't have her priorities straight, obviously.
A_Twerking_Koala 9
You don't say?
bluucat 17
At least she still considers that you're good in bed?
larrena2377 26
Sounds like you need a new girlfriend
hulopro 16
Well, that's degrading.
Cortezthe1st 23
At least you have a loyal friend.
gracehi 33
And here we were thinking that men were shallow ass holes who use others for their bodies. Turns out women can be as douchie as men. HOORAY EQUALITY!!! :D I knew that whole women's lob thing would pan out one day!
RedPillSucks 33
Women's lob. I know it's a typo, but it does seem like she needs a lobotomy
gracehi 33
lol! Yeah, I meant women's *lib, but I like your idea too!
Razi_tail 25
This comment was brilliant! I am female and I approve this equality statement. :P
siggy_mcsigx 22
Any real feminist knows women are just as capable of being assholes and shallow as men are!
LibertySteak 7
Don't need to be a feminist to know it, just admit it ;)
flame5768 14
they just exploit how wrong it is when men do it. hell, a man will be insulted if he's raped!
grumper 14
yeah well...as long as you think in categories like 'typical men/women' you wont get your equality ;-) Im a woman and i know very well how 'douchie' women can be...because humans can be assholes.
kitcatjb 12
Are you sure she wasn't joking? Buy her a ***** and see if she breaks up with you!
aireeahna 23
Do you realize how expensive a ***** is these days? :p
iiMichy 19
They're as low as 17.99$ at SpencersOnline!
LegalLoitering 12
I'm not gonna ask how you know this. *if you know what I mean.*
JaneChemi_fml 21
9.99 on Amazon. not that I would know or anything....
iiMichy 19
Just make sure they weren't already used... I mean unless you're in to that