Today, my friend was having a party. It was going good until I got the hiccups really bad, and they wouldn't go away. My friend decided to scare them away by shooting a pellet gun right next to my head. Bad news: It blew out my eardrum. I still have the hiccups. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a horrible case of the hiccups while at my friend's mother's funeral, resulting in me squeaking loudly every five seconds during the eulogy. My friend glared daggers at me until I left the room, then later accused me of being an insensitive bitch for "trying to ruin the funeral." FML
Today, I surprised my friend at their birthday party with a confetti cannon. I pulled the string, expecting colorful joy. Instead, it misfired, launched backwards and smacked me in the forehead. The confetti came out five seconds later, directly onto my dazed head. FML
Today, I tripped and fell, damaging my sternum and making it incredibly painful to breathe in or out too much. About ten minutes later, I got the hiccups. FML
Today, my professor tried to scare the hiccups out of me. Some pee came out instead. FML
Today, I was hanging with friends up at my best friend's cabin. We were in his hot tub cracking jokes when he told one that sent me into a fit of hysterics. He tried to shut me up by splashing water on me. It worked, because when I jerked my head to the side, I dislocated a rib. FML
Today, my brother thought jumping out and punching me in the stomach would cure my hiccups. Yeah. Didn't work. FML
Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms. I was so happy. Then, I got the hiccups. FML
Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML
Today, after battling for hours to get just a little sleep before my early morning work shift, I finally began drifting off. Then I got the worst attack of hiccups in my life. FML
Today, I was throwing a surprise birthday party for my friend. As we all hid in the dark waiting for him to arrive, I unexpectedly sneezed so loudly that I scared everyone, and they jumped out before he had even finished unlocking the front door. FML
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Top comments
Atropos_fml 0
Who would ever think that's a good idea?
fahubugahds 0
pellet guns aren't loud... at all
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Comments (150)
Mata_Hari 0
EDITED for my own stupidity...
wildabeast 0
this is why you never let stupid people help you with your problems
urallosers 0
hail grammar nazi #3. also why would you equate loud noises you know are coming to being scared? one works for hiccups, the other doesn't. Also, you could try the tried and true method of just forgetting about them. whataloser
noshitsherlock 0
You deserve it for being friends with someone THAT stupid.
kinkyboots 0
Ouch. Your friend is so stupid!
mynameisnotjudie 0
Yes... I must agree with everyone else - does your friend go to, erm, special classes?
FatJoke321 0
Hahahahaha ouchies...
guitar43 0
ummm i believe that would not be your friend.
dukain94 0
Well first of all, your friend is an idiot. And to make things worse, there is no medical cure for hiccups whatsoever, It's an involuntary spasm of the diaphragm, there's no cure. It goes away on its own.
k10tree 0
@20, swallowing water upside down stops it. I hope you didn't encourage this, that's just stupid!